Friday, June 11, 2010

Summit Announces Two Breaking Dawn Films

BIG SHOCKER! Wow - never expected THIS!

Ya know what? SCOOP OF CHOCOLATE, SCOOP OF VANILLA! DON'T WASTE MY TIME!!! We've all known for months. Just like we've known Robsten are a couple. Yawn.

Here's what Twilight fans REALLY want to know:

WHERE will the book be cut? Jenn D has suggested (quite brilliantly) that it will be right smack in the middle of Bella birthin' that baby. Talk about a cliff-hanger. If I hadn't read the books... but seen the movies? I'd be PISSED if they did that. Either way, I'm going to be annoyed. And here's why: THERE IS LITTLE TO NO EDWARD CULLEN in the second half of Breaking Dawn! WHAT is the second film even going to BE about?? OK let's see - she'll squirt out Renesme... (ew) Jacob will imprint... (cute but icky)... Edward and Bella spend the night in their new cottage (IT'S ABOUT TIME, Y'ALL)  and then it all goes tragically downhill from there. Lots of frolicking in the grass with Bella The New Vampire... and Renesme the Sortof New Vampire... and then the houseguests from hell arrive. ZZZZZ. And then they will train for the big fight that never happened... only it WILL happen in the movie because - for some reason - Summit digs showing us fight scenes that never happened in the books! (I repeat: Edward Cullen never got his ass kicked!!!) So we'll come to a crescendo with the Volturri... and the fight that never happened... and then all will be right with the Twilight universe. The End.

Kinda makes you want to shoot your eye out, doesn't it, kid?

PS - Oh c'mon. You know I'll be all full of "squeeee" and girly giggles when the shit comes out.

5 comments:

Tracey R. said...

My question: how in the HELL are they going to pull off Renesmee? Is she gonna be a big ole hot trannie CGI mess? Is James Cameron going to direct that part, a la Avatar?

Hold up. What if...what if... 3D!!!!! Imagine the birthing/turning scene in 3D?!?!?

Purgatory Carol said...

Tracey - I totally read something a while back about 3D for Breaking Dawn - I am so not joking. It might have been just someone pondering the idea... I can't remember. I just remember going OFF on a RANT of epic proportions because that would SUCK. PS - LOL about the birthing scene in 3D. Although I could handle it if it were from the angle of her skin and RPattz was coming toward me, bearing those gorgeous teeth, all fast and furious? GRRRRR BABY GRRRRR!

Tracey C said...

LOL...I will wait to own the Movies...Yawn...they are drawing it out so bad...nothing like the books...the passion... the obsession! But you guys...freaken hilarious! Yah I no I will be at the theatre for each and every one!

JeDeCe said...

::SOME BD SEMI-SPOILERS AHEAD...IF YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK AND HAVEN'T READ BD...YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU ROB::

LOL, thanks for the props, Carol! Seriously, I think that cutting the movie just prior to the gory birth (or just as it begins) is the only way they'll be able to keep this movie at PG-13. Maybe they'll do another montage style scene (ala Bella almost dying in Twilight)that is too quick to be graphic...

Also, as you pointed out, its the type of cliffie that Summit is famous for. They can then open the second BD with the dramatic, frenzied Vamp Venom to the heart scene and have all the Twi-tards in a frenzy, lickity-split, thus promising a roller coaster ride of a 5th movie...that I think will wind up being like a kiddy ride in comparison.

I also agree with your prediction of a huge fight scene even tho there wasn't one in the book...you know, will she or won't she master "The Shield".

Is it wrong that I. Can't. WAIT?!?! :)

Purgatory Carol said...

No. The waiting for these films is out of control. I'm almost past Eclipse and on to Breaking Dawn... and ECLIPSE HASN'T EVEN COME OUT YET!!!!!