I Need More Cowbell!

I can't stop hearing Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live in my head, saying "I've got a fever... and the only prescription... is more cowbell!" Of course, in my case, you must sub the word "cowbell" with the word "Edward".

I think I'm going through some sort of weird grieving process that all Twilight Freaks go through. You read the books at warp speed. Then you read Midnight Sun - feeling guilty all the while, because you know Stephenie Meyer doesn't want you to read it. But you tell yourself that she put it out there... and it is, after all, a drug. A very powerful drug. And by now you are sickeningly addicted and in need of more. And Stephenie, herself, put you on drugs. She got you hooked. So how can she possibly ask you to stay away from the one thing you need more than anything on the planet, while she's dangling it there in front of you on her own website. So you read and read and fall even more maddeningly in love with Edward than you were before, which you hadn't imagined possible. And then... out of nowhere.... the story ends. So what do you do?

I'll tell you what you do. You do exactly what I'm doing now. You reread parts of Midnight Sun...and then you whip out Twilight...and start cross-checking certain scenes. And then you think "Oh holy hell I've gone and LOST my damn MIND over VAMPIRE FICTION." And you don't care. Because Edward's your drug and you NEED MORE COWBELL. And then...the longing starts. You keep reading in Twilight....past the part where Edward stops talking in Midnight Sun. And you find yourself DYING to know Edward's thoughts. His thoughts on Bella's admission that her favorite color today is Topaz because that's what color his eyes are today. (Can you imagine? He must have gone ape shizzle all OVER that admission!) His thoughts on her getting no sleep that night. (Was he there? Did he have to hide when she kept waking up? Was he waking her because he just had to touch her face while she slept? WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?) His thoughts about their 2nd day of Lorenzo's oil, when he pushed his chair farther from hers. (Was he reciting the Declaration of Independence to himself so as not to be tempted to touch her face again?) Seriously. These questions are too much for me. And we're only FIVE pages into Twilight, past where Edward stopped talking in Midnight Sun!!! Can you imagine his thoughts on the rest of the book? My God! It's exasperating!