Thanks to Tracey R. for sending in the following Eclipse tweets that David Slade has been posting on Twitter today:
DAVID_A_SLADE
Still we have 200 days to go.
23 minutes ago from web
DAVID_A_SLADE
Jacob & Bella are matching with intensity, & it's all even with the action sequences. Right now we are in a great state of balance.
23 minutes ago from web
DAVID_A_SLADE
As we cut. Edward seems to be a really strong presence, the intensity of the love story & rivalry between Jacob is in the driving seat.
26 minutes ago from web
DAVID_A_SLADE
Been quite a week, we almost have our composer, all fingers crossed for some great news soon.
30 minutes ago from web
DAVID_A_SLADE
Wolf reviews today, looking better & better. The Eclipse story and they way we approached the film calls for a much more realistic approach.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Bryce Dallas Howard Interview
Check out this interview blurb on eclipsemovie.org. Wow. This woman is tremendous with the media. Her comments about Rachelle Lafevre are spot on (aka SHE FRIGGIN KICKED ASS IN NEW MOON) and very gracious, might I say. Go BDH.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE
One of THE funniest articles I've seen in a LONG time. It's a little X-rated - so be forewarned. (Thanks to John S. for sending it in!)
THE DEVIN'S ADVOCATE
WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE
By Devin Faraci
THE DEVIN'S ADVOCATE
WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE
By Devin Faraci
With New Moon likely to make yet another metric fuckload of money this weekend we need to find the bright side to the entire Twilight mania. There must be something good that comes from this awful Mormon fantasy that seems to have invaded our culture on every front. That something is the eventual movie version of Breaking Dawn.
Even though New Moon has made a bazillion dollars and even though the third Twilight book, Eclipse, is already filming, Summit has declined to announce the fourth and final Twilight book as a movie. There's a good reason for this: Breaking Dawn is completely fucking insane, and it is probably totally unfilmable. But if they do film it... man, we are in for a treat.
Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he's super strong and she's just a human - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her - and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.
Let's go over that again: Edward fucks Bella into unconsciousness. This alone should have you running to Fandango to pre-order your tickets, but it only gets better.
Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up. Yes, an undead vampire apparently has enough viable sperm to impregnate a human woman while fucking her off the coast of Rio de Janero. Stephenie Meyer, you fabulous idiot!
The baby in Bella's belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella's ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.
Oh wait, I missed something. Edward is completely freaked out about the baby, fearing it will kill Bella. He tries to convince her to get an abortion (but seriously, how could she? Vampires are tough to kill even in this shitty series), and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants. I'm dizzy with how ridiculous this is, and we're just getting started.
Eventually the baby starts to get born and Bella is dying. The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it's in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron.
In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his fucking teeth. It's like something out of XTro, for the love of God. It's so horrible it's brilliant, and this scene alone is why I remain firm in declaring that David Cronenberg must direct Breaking Dawn. This is surely his movie.
Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she's about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.
I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.
The book makes no bones about this; while Jacob doesn't want to fuck the baby right off the bat, he can't stand to be away from it and visits everyday. His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he'll love her forever. So one day he's going to stick his wolf dick in this girl that he see as a bloody newborn. Romance is not dead, it's just being abused by insane Mormon writers.
There's more in Breaking Dawn - the Volturi come back, for one thing - but these are the main amazing events that demand this book to be turned into a film. I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I've seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching - I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema. The entire film of Breaking Dawn would play like the weirdest exploitation film since Doris Wishman died - brutal sex, bizarre body horror, unbelievable pedophilia.
A werewolf falling in love with a baby. This is why Thomas Edison invented this shit in the first place. So we could see a werewolf fall in love with a baby.
Comment #349 (Posted by My Twilight Purgatory)
I am a self professed "Twihard" and that is some of the FUNNIEST shit I have ever read in my entire life. The only thing that has come close to this hilarity is one reviewer who said Jacob had "Christian Rock hair". THANK YOU for making my friggin day.
Twilight Cycles
I'm not sure a Twilight video has ever made me laugh this hard. Ever. Thanks to Tara V. for the HILARITY.
Monday, December 7, 2009
New Moon LOLcats Review
Dying. Holy CRAP. Just... dying. Thank you Jenn D. for sending this in. The rest of you must take yourselves over to Microsuede to see the most hilarious New Moon review - complete with LOLcats... LOLwolves... AND scenes from Peanuts. Did I mention I'm dying???
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Chaske Spencer's - aka "THAT VOICE" - website statement
You will see from the statement on his website that Chaske Spencer is the epitome of class. It can't be easy to (be forced to) throw details about your past out there in front of millions of adoring Twilight fans. I only point it out because a) he seems to be a seriously nice guy and we've been drooling over "that voice" since Parsippany and b) I want everyone to read it so you know the rumors are a bunch of bullshizzle. Oh yeah and c) because the wolf pack KICKED ASS in New Moon - gives me newfound hope for an awesome Eclipse - and who is the ultimate in wolf pack goodness but Sam Uley???PS - uh, thanks, Chaske for letting me totally gank this hot pic of you right the hell off your website. I am grateful. ;)
Robert Pattinson and Peter Facinelli at New Moon after party
Thanks to Jenn M - and to Robert Pattinson Life - for this adorable photo of RPattz and PFach at a New Moon after party. I don't know about you... but I'll take PFach! Is it me or does Jenny Garth get the "I WIN" award of the century?!? Survey says: YES!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
RPattz before and after!
LOL got this Tshirt design from Jenn D today. It makes me giggle profusely. (Aww c'mon. RPattz knows he's hot; he can handle a little ribbing.)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
So I just saw New Moon again...
A few things I wanted to mention...
Michael Sheen is the new black. He is so hot I don't know what to do with myself. RPattz? Nah (well yeah, but work with me here). Just watching Aro holding everyone's hand made me find him incredibly sexy. Hell, his TEETH made me find him incredibly sexy. Damn. DAMN. I know those of you under 35 are questioning my sanity right now. But the rest of you cougars know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, do a little Michael Sheen googling. You won't be sorry.
Wish they showed the forest a little more when Bella was dreaming. Wish we could have seen her dreams.
Wish the scene where she wakes up from her Volturi nightmare - which wasn't a nightmare - was done more like the book. Bella woke up so funny in the book, thinking she was dead and that Charlie was going to kill her. In the movie, Bella just sat there like a dumbass, staring at Edward while he did all the talking.
Wish they had taken a little while to lead up to the breakup scene. As cool as the October/November/December scene was - and it was very cool - I think I'd have rather seen Bella getting more and more antsy, sensing the impending doom, like in the book. So that when Edward asks her to take a walk, she is practically falling down already.
My favorite scene in the movie was the hunting/cliff diving scene. Not only did my favorite Native American actor of all time - Graham Greene - have a sad little death scene... but Rachelle Lafevre was KICK ASS in that scene (don't get me started because I may cry. I already miss her.) And if all of that weren't enough, actually seeing Bella do something so incredibly reckless - just to be near Edward - was really powerful for me and made me cry - again. It hit close to home. Reminded me of something I went through as a kid. Only Bella's Edward came back. Enough said.
So... my second viewing was interesting. Natch, I caught more of the details. Like how friggin GOOD Jessica was. And how funny Eric was. And how beautifully Rob Pattinson recited Shakespeare. And how naturally pretty Kristen Stewart is (which is possibly why some of us got tired of the Joan Jett look after a while; "less is more" where make-up and KStew are concerned.) This time around, I noticed how awesome Charlie was... and how GOOD Kristen Stewart was in the Volturi scene. And the scene where she tells Charlie she saw the wolves. And the scene where she's hanging with Jacob while he's fixing the bikes - or driving in her truck (her "mad skills" comment made me pee.) I HAVE to give her props since I was down on her scenes with Robert. And frankly - tonight I realized something; that's the problem. I don't care for Kristen Stewart in her scenes with Rob Pattinson. Every other scene - she's great. Scenes with RPattz, she's uncomfortable. Again - enough said.
And let me share two HILARIOUS lines I heard tonight - but not from any of the actors; from Shannon. OH. MY. GOSH. I laughed my ASS off right in the middle of the film. Halfway through the movie she notices that KStew is an A-cup and leans over to me and says: "She needs a water bra." Dying. Then - during the Volturi scene, she says about Marcus: "He looks like he's going potty." When I tell you.. I almost had to leave the theatre I was laughing so hard.
OK can I type any more? I'm thinking no. So I'm gonna shut up now, y'all.
Wonder if I'll go for a third viewing...
Michael Sheen is the new black. He is so hot I don't know what to do with myself. RPattz? Nah (well yeah, but work with me here). Just watching Aro holding everyone's hand made me find him incredibly sexy. Hell, his TEETH made me find him incredibly sexy. Damn. DAMN. I know those of you under 35 are questioning my sanity right now. But the rest of you cougars know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, do a little Michael Sheen googling. You won't be sorry.
Wish they showed the forest a little more when Bella was dreaming. Wish we could have seen her dreams.
Wish the scene where she wakes up from her Volturi nightmare - which wasn't a nightmare - was done more like the book. Bella woke up so funny in the book, thinking she was dead and that Charlie was going to kill her. In the movie, Bella just sat there like a dumbass, staring at Edward while he did all the talking.
Wish they had taken a little while to lead up to the breakup scene. As cool as the October/November/December scene was - and it was very cool - I think I'd have rather seen Bella getting more and more antsy, sensing the impending doom, like in the book. So that when Edward asks her to take a walk, she is practically falling down already.
My favorite scene in the movie was the hunting/cliff diving scene. Not only did my favorite Native American actor of all time - Graham Greene - have a sad little death scene... but Rachelle Lafevre was KICK ASS in that scene (don't get me started because I may cry. I already miss her.) And if all of that weren't enough, actually seeing Bella do something so incredibly reckless - just to be near Edward - was really powerful for me and made me cry - again. It hit close to home. Reminded me of something I went through as a kid. Only Bella's Edward came back. Enough said.
So... my second viewing was interesting. Natch, I caught more of the details. Like how friggin GOOD Jessica was. And how funny Eric was. And how beautifully Rob Pattinson recited Shakespeare. And how naturally pretty Kristen Stewart is (which is possibly why some of us got tired of the Joan Jett look after a while; "less is more" where make-up and KStew are concerned.) This time around, I noticed how awesome Charlie was... and how GOOD Kristen Stewart was in the Volturi scene. And the scene where she tells Charlie she saw the wolves. And the scene where she's hanging with Jacob while he's fixing the bikes - or driving in her truck (her "mad skills" comment made me pee.) I HAVE to give her props since I was down on her scenes with Robert. And frankly - tonight I realized something; that's the problem. I don't care for Kristen Stewart in her scenes with Rob Pattinson. Every other scene - she's great. Scenes with RPattz, she's uncomfortable. Again - enough said.
And let me share two HILARIOUS lines I heard tonight - but not from any of the actors; from Shannon. OH. MY. GOSH. I laughed my ASS off right in the middle of the film. Halfway through the movie she notices that KStew is an A-cup and leans over to me and says: "She needs a water bra." Dying. Then - during the Volturi scene, she says about Marcus: "He looks like he's going potty." When I tell you.. I almost had to leave the theatre I was laughing so hard.
OK can I type any more? I'm thinking no. So I'm gonna shut up now, y'all.
Wonder if I'll go for a third viewing...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Michael Sheen on Craig Ferguson
Thanks to newmoonmovie.org and Jenn M for alerting me to this. I am clearly showing my age when I say that I think BOTH of these fellows are hot. We all know how Carol digs herself some Brits. And how I'm reading the Outlander series and a Scottish accent melts my butter. And let's face it; I'm no tween (unless I'm 'tween college and a senior discount at Shoprite.)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Yet another witty Jamie Campbell Bower tweet
I am sorry but how can you not love this guy? (And might I say that a bowl of Cocoa Puffs for dinner can sometimes make everything alright in my world.)
Jamiebower Hungry. Dry Cereal City. Population, 1. All aboard. X
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Taylor Lautner to host Saturday Night Live?
Wow - according to Entertainment Weekly - via NewMoonMovie.org - Taylor Lautner is going to host Saturday Night Live on December 12th! He's only 17! I hope it's true. I think he'd probably be pretty damned funny in that capacity. Guess Rob and Kristen didn't want to? Shocker. It's funny because I have been thinking about how funny a SNL skit about the two of them would be. Can't you see it? SNL actors pretending to be the two of them - sitting around all sulky - him strumming a guitar in the corner...the cat backing away from him and his 4 day old plaid shirt... and her being philosophical about...some complete nothing thing like... gum. "It's just really amazing to be in the presence of something so...so...(sucks in air)... I don't know... kindof existential... you know? It's really (sucks in more air)... really kindof strange and yet powerful at the same time... to be...(sucks in air yet again) something that soooo many %$#@ people....(sucks in air a-friggin-gain) really, you know... love."OK sorry. I couldn't help it. I've been picking on RPattz and Kstew a bit lately. I'm just mad about New Moon being the RPattz/Kstew show when they don't seem to appreciate it (except for their chum - aka bullshit Tweets) and I'm bitter about the black Volvo MOM car... and I'm bitter about Kstew never smiling... and I'm bitter about the hype and the fact that I have done what I didn't want to do - and that's pay too much attention to the stars, when it should be about THE BOOKS. Just... the books.
OK I'll shut up now. Hey RPattz and KStew: Love ya! Mean it!
Possible Breaking Dawn Footage?
Embrace the funny. Or just look at PFach being incredibly hot. Either way - you win!
My Twisite du Jour
Holy crap. Once in a while you stumble upon a Twisite (Thanks Jenn D) and think "Now THIS is a good Twilight site." You have GOT to check out the irreverent Twi-ramblings of the Latchkey Wife. She is so damn funny I almost hurt myself. Check out her list of things she's thankful for (she is BEYOND lurve for RPattz and makes no apologies.) And check out the interview she would give RPattz if given the choice. HIl-AR-ious, peeps. Srsly.
"You Belong With Me" (Jacob Black Remix!)
FUNNY y'all. The lyrics are below. Thanks to Jenn D. for sending in this hilarious song she found on 4tnz!
LYRICS (by Matt Sullivan)
LYRICS (by Matt Sullivan)
You're in the woods with your vampire Edward Cullen
He’s always whining and complaining, he's so sullen
He doesn’t get you’re human like I do
I'm at the gym, it's a typical Tuesday night
Lifting the kind of weights he doesn't like
And he'll never know your family like I do
But he sparkles, and I'm so hairy
He's so sexy and I'm so scary
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines
If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Hangin' out in Forks, while he's in Italy
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Howling at the moon thinkin' to myself
Hey, isn't Ed sleazy?
And you've got a beauty that could light up this whole town
Haven't seen it since he brought those biters around
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a sucker so wack?
He's so pale, I'm so tan
He's kinda bitchy and I'm all man
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines
If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
I’m down on all fours, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Wedded Bliss at LAX
Is it me or does this pretty much sum up their relationship? She has a puss on her face... and he follows her around. Wait - maybe they're in character. (OVER IT, party of 1?)
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