Nutty Madam's at it again (the beach! the truck!)

Why did Edward get his ass kicked?

OK so my sister Jill just saw New Moon - and reminded me of something that bugged the crap out of me in the movie. WHY DID EDWARD GET HIS ASS KICKED?!  In the books, he's an excellent fighter. Is is because Felix (said "Feeelixxx" just like Michael Sheen aka Aro does) is so much older than him? I don't get it. That is a serious grey area for me since there was no major fight scene in the book. I just didn't like seeing Edward get flipped around all over the place. It was cool with the face crack and everything... but still. Edward Cullen does NOT get his ass kicked!

Billy and the humans

Just replied to a Billy Burke tweet and realized I showed him no love in my previous reviews! I told you it would take me a while to remember everything. Clearly I am a cougar because I have not a brain cell left in my damned head. At any rate - here's what I love about Billy Burke: he's a constant. He gives the same touching performance in New Moon that he did in Twilight; the concerned dad (Charlie). He's so understated; delivers his more humorous lines in his unique, dry way. Love him. Kudos.

And I also have yet to mention a BIG SURPRISE which was how much I ENJOYED the humans at school. Michael Welch - aka Mike Newton - was a pleasure this time around... unlike Twilight when you wanted to bash his character in the teeth (although "how you likin' the rain?" has probably made my top 20 list of quotable movie lines). Anna Kendrick - aka Jessica -  BROUGHT IT at the Port Angeles scene... very funny... she clearly has a good sense of comedic timing. And holy crap did you not LOSE IT at Justin Chon - aka Eric when he was CRYING at Romeo and Juliet? I. Love. Him.  Bobby Trendy, people....Bobby Trendy.

Another New Moon Review

A review came in from Tracey R. in a comment this morning and I feel compelled to post it as a blog entry:

OK, I've been thinking about this movie all day and have to say that I WISH I was happier with the Bella/Edward relationship onscreen. Now, I know that maybe it's just b/c it's New Moon, which is so NOT about their relationship, really--but honest to god, in every scene they have together, both before and after Edward leaves, Bella looks MISERABLE. Just plain miserable, as though (as I've said before) she smells something bad. It's really evident at the beginning at school, where she's with Edward in the parking lot looking all morose as usual, and then Jacob walks up and she VISIBLY brightens and is all "yo Jake wassup?" How in the heck is that supposed to make me, the audience member, feel at ALL as though Edward is the love of her life and the person who without whom she is souless?????? And worse yet, how is it supposed to get me invested in this relationship so that when Edward leaves, I believe that it's really as though someone has died to her??? I'll tell you what this movie needed--they needed to do the Romeo and Juliet movie scene the way it was written in the book, with B/E hanging out at home, sprawled out on the couch watching the movie, relaxed and just talking. (Oh, note to KStew? BELLA CRIES DURING THE MOVIE.) I need to SEE them having a normal couple moment--nothing earth-shattering, nothing life-threatening, just a normal moment with JUST THE TWO OF THEM, that's probably pretty close to moments they've had all during the summer ("the best summer of my life"), where they're just in love and enjoying each other's company and HAPPY. That gives the breakup scene so much more impact. POINT BEING: At the end of the day, I should have been in tears at that scene in the woods where Edward leaves. TEARS. And I wasn't. Either time. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, makes me sad. And makes me like the movie a little less the day after...

Tracey has seen the movie twice and was right last night when she said I was going easy on Kristen Stewart. I was. I don't know why. I suppose I don't want to sound like one of these asshole critics who has nothing good to say. Or maybe I'm afraid - by some freak of nature -  she'll stumble on my blog and get her feelings hurt - and she's only 19 - and I'd feel bad. I don't know. But I just said the following to Tracey:  "It's not that she's not smiling enough - that's not the problem. The problem is that she's not emoting any type of positive feeling for Edward Cullen."  Bottom line... the whole time I watched the movie, I felt like I was watching Kristen Stewart, not Bella Swan. And she should not shoulder the blame... Catherine Hardwicke and Chris Weitz have a hand in this, as well. It goes back to my comments about letting the actors have a little too much control. Bella Swan has a great sense of humor.. and she's blindly in love with Edward Cullen. Did you get that impression from this movie? Neither did I.

Kevin Smith New Moon Tweet

ThatKevinSmith NEW MOON rumored to have beaten DARK KNIGHT one day record of $67mil. Tween girls can get shit DONE, man. Send 'em to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Let m'tell ya how much I lurves me some Kevin Smith. He is so friggin hilarious. Run, don't walk, to your nearest Blockbuster and rent the following, in this order:

1) Clerks
2) Mall Rats
3) Chasing Amy
4) Dogma
5) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

And thanks to Tracey R. for the re-tweet!

Who said it?

Who said this? Care to take a guess? No cheating. Just guess...

"though we still don't entirely agree on who's got Edward's emotional state right—Rob contends Edward is more depressed than I think he is"

New Moon Review - Part deux

Friend and mytwilightpurgatory reader Kira asks:

are the Volturi just not that interesting? are the scenes with them as good as they seem in the trailer? they weren't mentioned in your review!

Let me APOLOGIZE for that, as they were TREMENDOUS. LORD how could I forget my favorite - Jamie Campbell Bower - aka Caius???? He truly has like.. two microscopic lines... but I have so much lurve for that little cutie, I don't know what to do with myself.  And he was good. His little "she knows too much...she's a liability" was hot. Although it reminded me of Yoda: "I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience." OK - moving on. Michael Sheen. MICHAEL SHEEN. Do they have any frickin idea how LUCKY they were to get MICHAEL FRICKIN SHEEN??? At one point, I turned to my sister and said "Best actor in the movie" but then I came to my senses and remembered GRAHAM GREENE was in the movie and had a little chuckle to myself that I could ever be so silly as to think anyone could ever be better than him - in anything he ever does. (TEAM HARRY CLEARWATER!!)  At any rate - Michael Sheen kicks some ASS as Aro. The only complaint I have is that they didn't stick to the book and give him white hair and papery skin. I have no idea why they didn't. Maybe he didn't want to - and that seems to be the way it works with these Twilight movies; the actors get to choose how they look as well as what they say. (Oooooh SNAP. Yeah, I said it.) Christopher Heyerdahl who plays Marcus was very good, too (although he has even less lines than Caius).. but I am biased where he is concerned. He played Alastair on Supernatural and was SICK good in that, too.

OK a few other Volturi points:  the room they were in was great - lots of marble. But we've all seen that in five million trailers, so moving on... The scene where they bring in the humans... Oh. My. God. Chris Weitz is brills because - well - I'm not going to tell you - but that scene will really choke you up. I was very disappointed that they didn't have the scene with Bella and Edward after the Volturi released them, where Bella is crying (it would have been nice to see her actually emote something) but I understood why they had to cut it and sortof front-load the emotional stuff when Bella first crashes into Edward. OH I thought the post-Italy conversation at Bella's house was WAY TOO rushed. That was a poignant scene and I barely even remember it, and that should not be.

also...is the ending totally different than in the book? i have to be honest...i don't even remember at this point how the book ended! lofl. i just remember that Bella gets Edward back....

Yes and no. They didn't change the gist of the story - but they changed where it takes place. And there is a cliff hanger that Chris Weitz doesn't want you to know about. So go see the movie and you'll find out for yourself. (And Summit will make even more money than they already have! Isn't that special for them?)

PS - THANK YOU to Chris Weitz for staying true to the book. I am getting chills while I type this. New Moon is my favorite of all the Twilight Saga books; it had a very personal impact on my life. If the movie had veered too far from the book, I'd have been upset. Thanks, Chris, for doing us proud.

Cullen House for Sale

Dude. This is beyond strange. You can buy the Cullen's house from New Moon.

New Moon Movie Review

OMG. Where do I begin? I love it. ABSO-FRIGGIN-LUTELY LOVED IT. There is so much to say about this film, I'll need to see it a few more times before I'll remember it all. First thing that comes to mind: THE EFFECTS. Absolutely BRILLS!!! My favorite scene (as of this second) was Victoria in the woods, flying all over the place while Charlie and Harry Clearwater (GOD OF ALL THINGS NATIVE AMERICAN) were hunting the wolves. It was truly a work of art. And speaking of a work of art: THE WOLVES! They were SO GOOD! The CGI was TREMENDOUS!!! For some reason, I thought Jacob - the red one - was a little less true-looking than the rest. Must have something to do with his coloring, vs a grey or black and white wolf? Either way - they were so good and - thank you JESUS - they were HUGE!!! HUGE!!!

Italy? Holy god - beautiful - although, unfortch, we saw WAY TOO MUCH of it on the internet (um, sorry) and the TV over the last few months.

I almost want to look at NOTHING from Eclipse - and I am THRILLED David Slade kept such a closed set because it really sucked that I had seen so much from New Moon before today. OK moving right along... don't want to get stuck in the negativity since I'm all about the lurve for New Moon right now...

The "breakup" scene - NOT Edward and Bella - but JACOB and Bella - was very good. Kristen was very good in that scene, while Taylor was very good in pretty much EVERY scene. It really made you feel for Bella - that here she was, finally coming out of her depression, and then BAM! She gets "dumped" again. Really, really good. As for "the breakup scene" with Edward and Bella - good - but not as gut-wrenching as I was expecting. Rob hit the mark. You were truly pained for Edward. Kristen could have shown a little more emotion with her eyes - but I suppose she was trying to emote "shock".

The wolf pack. Hmmmm. Not as much wolf pack as I was hoping to see.  Sam is great. VERY believable as the alpha. Paul doesn't have enough of a role. I was shocked to see how many lined Embry actually had. And I was thrilled that they left in the scene where Embry and Quill come strolling along while Jacob and Bella are in the garage with the bikes. Very sweet little scene that doesn't mean much but is just so real. They all brought it to this scene.

The cliff diving scene - omgomgomg - fangirling all over the place - BEAUTIFULLY done. SO heartbreaking. Although we all agreed it was a little anticlimactic when Bella came around. No spewing water out of her mouth or coughing... just a little drooling and staring... I dunno...I'd like to know how much of it is these actors' own influence vs how much they "do what they're told".

Teeny things that THRILLED ME:

Rosalie. Holy god. Dear Nikki - you are my new HERO of thespians. Love, Carol.  Nikki Reed KICKED ASS in this movie - and she only had a few lines. But WOW they were powerful. She has a little speech toward the end where she apologizes to Edward and Bella and votes "no" when asked if Bella should be turned... and says she wishes she had someone to vote "no" for her. She truly made me C-R-Y.  She delivered the lines beautifully and I actually felt sorry for Rosalie. Hell I wasn't even able to do that in the BOOKS! AND - if that weren't enough - Rosalie is GORGEOUS in New Moon. I thought I'd hate the wig; I didn't. I thought her coloring would be weird; it wasn't. She looks magical. Like she's SUPPOSED to look. Wow I cannot gush enough. GO TEAM NIKKI!!

Next on the list of small things that had a big impact (on me). GRAHAM GREENE! GRAHAM GREENE! GRAHAM GREENE! I'm sorry but you CANNOT have a movie with such a large Native American influence and NOT have Graham Greene! I love the man! And every time they showed his face I (annoyingly) said "I LOVE HIM!" right out loud.

What else? As I surmised, little to no Carlisle, which was a tough pill to swallow. Is it me or is he way more calming than Jasper? Poor Jackson Rathbone. TALK ABOUT UNDERUTILIZED. I suppose he'll have his due in Eclipse in June. But it's so funny how they make him stare into space and it's supposed to convey his calming nature. But all it does is make him look like Cindy Brady (Baton Rouge Cindy! Baton Rouge! You KNOW this one!) They literally had to make Bella say "Jasper stop doing that!" so you'd say to yourself "ooooh he's exerting his calming influence... THAT'S why he looks so freaky right now!) And lord - he's so gorgeous... WHY do they insist on making his hair look like Carol Brady: The Early Years??????

Ugh - so much more. So, SO much more. As usual, I am not happy with Edward Cullen being a sullen, sulking pathetic-looking dude all the time. EDWARD CULLEN WAS A FUNNY GUY! Am I the only one who remembers this??? For the love of god, somebody PLEASE tell me you agree!

I didn't know whether I was going to say it. But I'm going to say it.  I think they let the lead actors have way more input than the should in both Twilight and New Moon. They've changed the characters to the point where it interfered with my ability to truly enjoy the movie in spots. Let's review:

Bella is amusing. Let's let her laugh once in a while, shall we? When she's with EDWARD, that is. She doesn't have a problem looking happy with Jacob. So shouldn't she look friggin ECSTATIC with Edward???

Edward is endearing. Let's let him laugh once in a while, too. (Instead of looking like he's about to shit his pants all the time.)  I suppose he did more than Bella - so that was a nice change. We saw his teeth a little more in this movie.

Ummm... those are really the only two who I keep reading are giving a lot of input, changing lines, portraying their characters like this or like that.... instead of the way HERSELF - Stephenie Meyer - intended them to be.

Final review:  Robert Pattinson - pat on the back - solid performance. Kristen Stewart - hmmm...I suppose she merits a "solid performance" but I wish it included way more smiling and way less loud breathing. Damn girl. Bella's not socially inept for god's sake! Ease up!

And the total surprise of the movie? ASHLEY GREENE - ie Alice Cullen. HOLY MOTHR OF GOD ON HIGH!!! She. Was. AWESOME. Totally carried certain scenes - ie Alice visiting Bella... Alice arguing with Jacob... Alice and Bella in the Porshe. I CALLED THIS months ago. We were all worried about the way she sounded and I believe I said "These are trailers - let's wait for the movie to come out" and boy was I right. She knocked my socks off.

Oh and one more thing. Emmett is just adorable. Kellen Lutz is just a constant. You always know what to expect from the man - and he always delivers.

NEW MOON IS HERE!

TODAY'S THE DAY!!!!!!!

One more day!

OK so whose mom called them this morning at 9:21 to tell them Rob Pattinson was on Regis and Kelly? C'mon.... don't be shy... admit it.. you watched. Or DVR'd. I haven't called PattzR back yet (yes, that really is her name. Well Patsy. R. Same diff.) but when I do I will thank her for being so cool at her age. Although she's going to tell me I'm picking on Regis when I start abusing him... and it will be amusing as hell. LORD did anyone see Kristen yesterday? I caught it online and my god - the poor thing - she did GREAT, especially when you consider that Regis is a FREAK. And poor Kelly had to keep cutting in and saving him and asking Kristen real questions instead of having Regis cutting in about singing Joan Jett songs live... or cutting her hair... oh god it was crazy! And poor Kristen looks like she's thinking "Just let this be over. Just let this be over!" when they came back from commercial. It was great TV. Absolutely great TV.

2 more days!

Can you believe we're so close? What's odd is that I've had this overwhelming sense of calm over the last few weeks. Me, the freak who hosted a 100 Days 'til New Moon party. Me, the complete wacko who has a Twilight blog. But... I dunno... I think I'm just a wee bit sick of all the hype. There's actually a headline floating around right now about Kellan Lutz' lips. Um, srsly? Could someone please explain to me what in god's name this has to do with Edward Cullen's undying love for Bella Swan? Cuz I'm not seeing the correlation.

Twilight has become this over-the-top, huge-money-making business.... and I guess I don't do well with over-the-top, huge-money-making businesses. (Just ask the kiosk dude at Disney who tried to sell my kids those stupid plastic, rotating light toys which cost fifteen bucks each just because they had princesses and Lightning McQueen on them. Um, no thanks.)

So while I love the books and will make any excuse to talk about them... I am just a bit disillusioned with the press nightmare.

Rob Pattinson was actually yanked from a pre-scheduled Ryan Seacrest interview by his "people" at the premiere because Seacrest had the AUDACITY to ask his majesty if he was dating Kristen Stewart. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? C'mon. I thought we were talking about Edward Cullen?  Why is this guy's love life so important? And why in god's name don't they just answer the question? OH right because it's their personal life and it's private and they shouldn't have to. OH COME THE HELL ON. The only reason it's this big, burning question is because the've been strategically evading it for months in order to keep themselves in the news (most likely this plan has been commissioned by Summit; don't get me wrong.)  The mere QUESTION of these two dating has become bigger than the relationship, itself. It's all so stupid and media-driven. And something tells me Rob Pattinson is probably as annoyed as I am about the whole thing. (And thanks to Jenn M for the link.)

So yeah... I'm a little disillusioned this week, and for that, I apologize. But trust me... after I see the movie on Friday, I'm going to be a big ol' mess of positive Twilight energy to the point where you're going to want to smack me in the head.

So until then, just keep on sending in your Pocket Edward photos, please.

And PS - whilst I'm on the subject of Pocket Edward... WHERE THE HELL IS LAUREN'S BITE???

Edward and Bella

Here's what "Edward and Bella" look like in MY house. Yes. Her name is Bella. Can't you tell by her golden eyes?

Tom Cruise auditions for Twilight

This is one of THE FUNNIEST things I've seen in a ridiculously long time, Y'all. Go watch it!

More Adventures with Pocket Edward

If you have your very own Pocket Edward, make sure to photograph him in various spots around town... and send me some photos for the blog!

New Moon Premiere: Live from the red carpet!

Thanks to Jenn D. for pointing this out!

There was a big ol' live streaming video of the premiere here... but I took it down because it takes a sickeningly long time to load. And who has that kind of time? Certainly not me. I'm too busy reading Voyager (Outlander - Book 3) and taking pictures of Pocket Edward!

Allocine interview with Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner

I love when Taylor says: "It's tough to not like Rob". And Hello? Kristen? You look GORGEOUS, Girlfriend! Love the lighter makeup... and your natural haircolor is "so much more becoming" as my mom, PattzR would say. PS - TEAM LAURENT, BABY! I love me some Edi. I think they should KEEP HIM ALIVE! (He's fighting with cows!) PS - thanks so much to Jenn M. for sending me this!!

Look who's coming to dinner

Jenn D. from Erie, Pennsylvania sent in this tremendous photo of her very own "Pocket Edward" whom she took to dinner last night.  Send me your photos and I'll put them in Purgatory!!

New Moon Magazine from editors of US

So I just popped into the convenience store for a Coke (terrible habit, I know) and came out with this new New Moon magazine put out by Us Magazine. It's a sick lot of fun.

COMMA HOWEVER, where is my favorite New Mooner, Jamie Campbell Bower?! I don't see him anywhere, other than the gratuitus Caius shot.  Even amidst the STUDLY photos of Daniel Cudmore (hubba hubba) and Charlie Bewley (who is gorgeous, if you hadn't noticed). It is not RIGHT that JCB isn't getting more play, people. He's absolutely adorable. And why am I gushing about these guys? Because I'm sick to death of Rob, Kristen and Taylor getting all the press (as I'm sure they are too.) How often do we see someone like Julia Jones (Leah Clearwater) online or in magazines?  She's stunning! Where are the rest of the cast?!

Let's get one thing straight, people. To quote Francis McDormand in Fargo: "There's more to life... than a little money." For this post, I think I'll change that to: There's more to life than a little RPattz!!!

*Thanks to jamie-bower.com for the photo! You guys rock! 

No RPattz in King of Prussia

Many thanks go out to my TwiFriend, Kim (whom I've never met in person but she rocks!) for letting me know Rob P. is NOT at Hot Topic in King of Prussia this week. Apparently someone got the dates mixed up and used dates from last year by mistake. That's awesome because I was kindof bummed I wasn't even making an attempt to go. So right on - THANKS KIM! And PS - we will totally be going to see 100 Monkeys when they're in ________ (insert secret location here). I am way more game to head to a bar as opposed to a mall. LOL Keep me posted!