Twilight Humor

I cannot stop watching this Twilight Parody. It's absolutely hilarious. And I haven't even seen the movie yet.

So I was reading today that Drew Barrymore is one of the people being considered to direct Eclipse. Hmmm. Not sure how I feel about that. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Drew Barrymore and am usually the first in the theater to enjoy her latest endeavor (except Charlie's Angels. Spit Cough Sputter). But Drew Barrymore for Eclipse? I don't know if that would jive. She's usually so comedic. I'm also bummed Catherine Hardwicke isn't directing New Moon. Will the movies "match up"? Why are they playing Musical Directors with one of the greatest novel-to-film sagas of all time?

Dakota Fanning is Jane!

I think this is perfect casting: http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00022617.html

4th Most Eligible Bachelor

So apparently Rob Pattinson was named Buddy TV's 4th Most Eligible Bachelor. Good for him, seeing as he's NOT ON TV. I am cracking up because some websites are mad that he's not Number 1. Well...I'm sorry....but before I got completely obsessed with a tween vampire saga, I was the number 1 fan of a little show called SUPERNATURAL, baby. (Which hasn't shown a new episode in three weeks and I'm getting a little impatient, yall.) And you know who came in at Number 1 on said list? That's right...m'boy JENSEN ACKLES. Pretty much the most beautiful person on the planet. I have no complaints and I'm sure Rob Pattinson doesn't either. Maybe the paparazzi will leave him alone for a few days (but I doubt it.) And frankly, I can't feel too sorry for him. Who knows if the media is BSing when they say he's so upset about his lack of privacy that he's ready to return to England. As if THAT would do any good. They're ruthless there, too. Either way - I can't imagine anyone couldn't put up with some photogs in their face to a) make the money this kid is making and b) shoot up the ranks of Hollywood hotties so fast over one role. And - let's be honest - how important is a list that JEFF FRIGGIN PROBST is actually on? Seriously people. Let's put this in perspective!

Always with the Questions!

I love this graphic. I got it from someone called "DaytonHawk" on the sodahead website....where he/she was saying Harry Potter dorks have less questions than Twlight dorks. Clearly, I am a self-professed Twilight dork. I could keep this blog up for two years with the questions that pop into my mind on a daily basis....

OK more questions...

Does Twilight make you want to go to the Pacific Northwest? It makes me want to jump on a plane. Sadly, I have only been out there once - to Seattle - and I absolutely loved it. Friends who live there told me I picked the greatest two days of the year, as it was sunny the whole time I was there.

Where does Jacob get money? He doesn't have a job. His dad doesn't have a job. His sister is in college.

As far as the movie goes - I have been wondering why Jasper's hair is so long, because he was a soldier. But I was forgetting he was a soldier in 1863. I couldn't figure out why he didn't have short hair because I am assuming they all have the hair they had when they were turned. That's how it usually works with vampires. Look at poor Vampire Bill from True Blood. He's stuck with his Civil War soldier hair and his pork chop sideburns for the rest of his un-life. Even when he was burned beyond recognition by the sun, he still phased back together with that Civil War hair. So Jasper's hair is pretty consistent with the time period in which he was turned.


OK so here's something... I just read one one of the (millions of Twilight) blogs and someone was saying Edward's mother knew Carlisle was different and begged him to "save" Edward, knowing it would not be the usual saving. I didn't get that. Did you? I pretty much took the story at face value and didn't do much digging to satisfy my own sadness that Carlisle changed a 17 year old, rendering him powerless to his own self-loathing he'd experience when he met Bella. To say his mother knew Carlisle would turn him? I don't know. I think that's reaching to make yourself feel better. But who knows - I might have misinterpreted the story, which I've done frequently in these books - ie - not even realizing Jacob imprinted when the story was presented to me. Duh.

From Purgatory to HELL

Sigh... I finished "Midnight Sun" - well, at least the rough, unfinished draft. I have some CHOICE WORDS for the MORON who floated the draft to someone he/she shouldn't have....because NOW we don't even have Edward's version of THE FRIGGIN MEADOW scene, let alone the baseball game, dance studio or prom. I was hoping upon hope we'd get to that point...but alas; it was not to be. Edward sped away in his car, leaving Bella breathless and "dazzled" as usual...and we didn't even get his version of their first kiss. It's almost criminal. Oh wait - leaking a rough draft of a partial copy of a manuscript IS CRIMINAL.

At any rate, I can only hope Stephenie Meyer is somewhere right now, typing away, and giving more life to Edward Cullen than ever before. It is my opinion that Midnight Sun is better than any of her other books. I want to tell her not to worry about a few silly typos....as if they could ever make a difference when one is reading Edward Cullen's painfully raw thoughts. Hardly. That rough draft was absolutely beautiful....and she doesn't even know it.

The End is Near

I am on page 245 of 264 of the rough draft of Midnight Sun....and am starting to get depressed, knowing once it's over, Edward is gone. I think I better hold off and read the rest in the morning, so when I finish it, it won't seem as depressing. Things always seem worse at night, don't they? There is no way I could avoid reading it though...if the opportunity arises this evening. I am inexplicably drawn to this character....the way Edward's character is drawn to Bella. I have no way of fighting it or rationalizing! Just read read read. It's maddening. If someone - anyone - can get through to Stephenie Meyer - please let her know she must keep writing Edward's side of the story. She is right up there with Jane Austen as far as I am concerned. And Jane Austen's library is complete. But Stephenie Meyer's doesn't have to be! She should have an ego the size of the Good Year Blimp right about now. I wonder if she realizes how much we're all counting on her to bring Edward back to life.

Sigh...Melt...Sigh...

He put her lemonade lid in his pocket. HE PUT HER LEMONADE LID IN HIS POCKET. As a SOUVENIR. Holy shizzle. That's almost as bad as me trying to steal John Taylor's water bottle off the stage after a Neurotic Outsiders concert because he had a cold... and I wanted to catch it.

OMG

"My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising for me now, in the middle of my midnight?"

~Edward Cullen - upon sitting in Bella's room for the first time, hating himself for being a "monster" and suddenly hearing her call his name in her sleep.

My god, Stephenie Meyer is a genius.

Whoops - Missed it!

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read unless you have FINISHED Breaking Dawn!


So I just lent Breaking Dawn to my friend Ellen at school. She had this look in her eye... a look you can make out across the parking lot... one many of my friends have had lately. That scared, slightly deranged look that says "I've finished one book and I can't find the next!" When I found myself in that spot last Friday, I called Booktowne in Manasquan and promptly drove over and bought Breaking Dawn. Problem solved. So what if I could take the family to Surf Taco for what I paid for it? It would be well worth going hungry. And I am thrilled to be able to loan it out and spread the word of Edward.

So before I took the book to Ellen, I flipped through the birth scene a bit, because I knew I'd missed a lot due to my spazziness and wanting to know what happened. It's only too easy to read too fast with a "yeah yeah - Jacob's mad - whatever" attitude when you're trying to find out if Bella lives or dies. And when I was reading, I laughed heartily out loud when Renesmee bit Bella and Edward says "Renesmee - No!"....and Jacob says it was as if he was trying to teach the monster manners. HOW FRIGGIN FUNNY IS THAT?! I was also very impressed with Edward. I don't know that I realized how well he took charge and delivered that baby all by himself. Way to go. I'm thinking the two medical degrees came in handy. That also lead me to think Bella should go into medicine, seeing she's so good at being around humans. Rosalie caved like JFK stadium in Philly once she saw the blood. Whatever- I can't be mad at her for it. She truly came through in the end. I really thought she'd try to keep that baby from Bella once she came around...but she never did. That was tres decent of her.

LASTLY - I never - NEVER - realized Jacob imprinted - until after Bella came around. I originally read that last page of his side of the story at lightning speed so I could find out what happened to Bella. So today I was blown away when I realized "Oh holy &^% - he really did imprint the second he saw her. I just thought he was upset that Bella was dead. DOH! I'm not a smart man (said like Forrest Gump).

Questions

Why does Rosalie "owe" Edward? Carlisle mentions that in "Midnight Sun" while they're running through the forest, hunting together. He's telling Edward that the family will move away with him, if that's what he needs to stay away from Bella Swan. Should I know why Rosalie owes Edward? Have I forgotten?

Wow. I just never realized the level of Edward's torture while I was reading Twilight. Who knew he was flipping out in his mind over the two weeks between meeting her...and saving her at the truck. Unbelievable. And when they had that commentary right afterward - where she asked him to explain how he got over to her so fast....at a later date....and he said "fine" and she said "fine" right back at him. UGH! I mean...I got it...but I didn't "get" it. When you read Twilight, he just seems annoyed. But when you read Midnight Sun, you realize "holy shit - this guy is in PAIN". I also like learning the details about when and how he truly fell for her. All books should be like this! At this point, I'd like to resurrect Shakespeare and make him write "Romeo and Juliet" from both of their perspectives!!

Catch Me I Don't Want to Fall

And I'll always know how to find you...'cause you shine like the Midnight Sun ~ Simon le Bon

As I sit here reading Midnight Sun, I can't help but think of one of my favorite songs from Duran Duran, off their Medazzaland album. (Oops, I said "album". I'm showing my age. Clearly I'm not a teen Twilight fan.) I cannot believe Edward was this wound up over Bella. It's fascinating. He can't even stay in Spanish class, and she's not even in that class! Emmett's so funny. He truly never knows when to shut up. At any rate, if Edward is this captivating so soon after meeting Bella, I can't imagine what he's going to be like when they start flying off to the meadow together. I can only beg of Stephenie Meyer that she continues this rough draft, all the way to Breaking Dawn and beyond. And I thank her mother for making her write it!

Here are the lyrics to "Midnight Sun" from Duran Duran (click to give it a listen). I would LOVE to hear this played in "New Moon" when we finally get to see the hell Edward was living through when he left Bella. Remember when he said it had gotten day to day - and that he'd have been back soon because he couldn't stand it anymore? I can see him lying on a bed with a horribly sad, brooding "Edward look" on his face, with this song playing eerily in the background...

As I watch you flickering slowly
In the shadows nothing to hold
Its as if I don't recall our time before
And would it be so wrong
Not to remember

There are times I look at you differently
Like Ive never seen you before
Funny, after all we've done
You could be someone I don't know at all
I don't know you at all

Catch me, I don't want to fall

But you pull the mountain from under me
Look, I'm dangling up in the blue
And its a cartoon kind of eternity
Before I drop down to you
What am I supposed to do now?

There is something beautiful shining
In the hollow knot of your head
Funny, for a while it seemed to come from the sky
But its in your head
Yes it fills your head

You and I don't always fly
Let me down, I want to fall
Deep into the dark
But I'll come back to you

And I'll always know how to find you
cause you shine like the midnight sun

It's...Complicated.

Damn! I cannot BELIEVE I have once again been SUCKED IN by Edward Cullen. Have you read Midnight Sun? UGH! I heard about it - the stolen manuscript that depicts Edward's side of Twilight. And I thought "Eh - I've already read Twilight - what will make me want to read this? I'll probably just skim it - let's have a look." Next thing I know, I'M ON PAGE 40 and SO upset that I have to go to bed. And that it's not a book I could take upstairs with me and read if I wake up in the middle of the night. The answers coming from this thing are incredible. I almost wish I'd parallel-read it along with Twilight - chapter for chapter - so I'd have had a really detailed sense of what was going on. So far, I'm finding it fascinating that Edward really hated Bella the first day they met, because of the scent of her blood. When you read Twilight, you're not realizing how deep his vampire desires run...and that he hasn't been human in 80+ years. So you end up confusing vampire thirst - for human lust. And then you read Midnight Sun and realize he has zero desire for her as a woman - or person - or human. He didn't even really find her attractive on Day 1. He just wanted her blood. It's FANTASTIC. Completely vampirific, in every sense of the (completely made-up) word. And as I mentioned to some friends this morning, the one thing I missed about Edward through books 2, 3 and 4 was his...I don't know what you'd call it - brooding? His almost evil stare and disposition. So....here I go again. Because this book is BETTER than Twilight. I can only hope we get more from Edward's perspective (with the exception of that little whimpering session in Breaking Dawn). PS - I miss the Cullens. I need a Book 5. From ANYONE'S perspective. Hmmm. Renesmee's, perhaps?

Midnight Sun

I have discovered Midnight Sun. Holy hell...it is delicious. And I'm not even past the cafeteria scene. My god - if reading about Edward was good...you don't even know what it's like to have a free, all-day pass into Edward's head. It's lovely. I don't ever want to leave...

Someone please...

...break me off a piece of Edward.

Another Funny Shot

WHAT is with Jasper's hair?! He looks like Jon Heder in "Blades of Glory"!!

The End

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read unless you have FINISHED Breaking Dawn.

I can't believe it. I finished it this afternoon. I was so intent on finishing today because I couldn't stand the suspense any more. I had to know if they lived or died. So right after school, I set my kids up with a snack, turned on Noggin and disappeared to the family room where I could read - and cry - in peace. Waiting for the Volturi showdown in the clearing was much harder than waiting for the Victoria showdown in the clearning...probably because I knew there was another book after the Victoria showdown. So it wasn't just the outcome of the book; it was the outcome of their lives. When Edward said "goodbye" to Jacob and called him "my brother...my son" I nearly convulsed. That was extremely powerful to me. And more than anything, I was so thrilled to see m'girl Alice come back and take charge of the situation, like only Alice can. She is the most kick ass character I've come across in a long time. I knew she would never abandon her family like that...and I was surprised Edward and Carlisle didn't realize it, too.

This book was tough to get through because I knew it was the end. But I could not have asked for a better ending; better closure. I certainly got what I needed out of the series. Edward's happiness was really my need from the beginning....once his story was revealed and I knew how lonely he'd been for a century. My only complaint was that he was a little iffy there while Bella was pregnant. I wanted to slap him like Cher slapped Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. "Snap out of it!" I would have liked to have seen Edward have a good cry at some point, and then get the sadness out of his system. Instead of moaning while Bella rubbed his cheek - like a little lap dog. I'd rather he'd lost it and cried his eyes out to Bella (in front of a roaring fire, of course...perhaps while wearing nothing but his Valentino boxer briefs) and then gotten up and punched a wall or something. I just couldn't stand his reaction to her being pregnant. I realized he was upset but come on dude....butch up. OK we've visited this already, no need to rehash it. Anyway - he was so great once Bella was turned, wasn't he? Loved the hunting....loved the cottage...loved how he came around and became "Edward in Charge" again.

I have a lot of googling to do. I've been avoiding all Twilight websites - especially Stephenie Meyer's....because I didn't want anyone to spoil the endings. But now I am ready to explore the books, characters, actors, music, locations, etc etc. I want to take it all in. I also want to read Midnight Sun, which I'm told is Edward's version of meeting Bella. Or at least the first 200 pages or so, until some DOUCHE leaked it to the internet. What a dumbass. We could have had another book by now. But noooo. Now I've got to squint at my computer screen to swoon over Edward in between Facebooking and shopping for new rugs. But, whatever. For Edward, it doesn't seem like a difficult task.

One more thing - here's my prediction. I think we're going to see prequels galore. Hell, you could do a trilogy on Carlisle, alone. How about a book about how Carlisle was turned....and then a book about each of the Cullen children being turned? Except Rosalie. I don't think I'd care. And something tells me Esme's got a powerful story, too....even though she wasn't usually at the forefront in this series.

My sincere and heartfelt thanks to Stephenie Meyer for being such a gifted writer. And for bringing such a wonderful story into my life at a time when I really needed something to come in and stir things up a little. I am forever grateful....

Kindof Funny Picture

Look at this funny picture. There are so many comments to be made. Remember when Esme had no face on Grey's Anatomy? Something tells me she has traded up from Justin Chambers. Not that Alex isn't cute but come on. Carlisle? Smokin'. Now look at Rosalie. Hello? Most beautiful woman in the world? Seriously? If I could get past her Members Only jacket for five seconds, I might be able to see more clearly. And I'm thinking my hair looked like that at my 8th grade graduation. Alice, I've got to give props to. She's adorable and still quite possibly my favorite character in the series. OK now we have Jasper. One word. ROFLMAO! What's with the 'do?! It looks like my Dorothy Hamill in the 4th grade! OK let's move on to Emmett, shall we? Totally adorable, but I like him with his blonde hair much better. Guess they had to dye it for the film. And last, but furthest from least, we have Edward. Sigh. Wince. Cover your heart in pain as if someone threw an arrow through it while you were sitting at the table, minding your own business and eating your grilled cheese. He's not exactly "my Edward" in this picture, but close enough.

Breaking Dawn, Indeed!

SPOILER ALERT - DO NOT READ unless you have reached chapter 23 "Memories" in Breaking Dawn.

All is right in my world. I am happy. I can now put the book down for short periods. Last night, after the kids went to bed, I curled up on the couch in the living room with a blanket, far away from the noise of the TV in the family room. And I read like there was no tomorrow. I read the last of the annoying "Bella on the couch " scenes. I read the last (I hope) of Edward's annoying worrying. And then the roller coaster started all over again. WHAT A FRIGGIN RIDE! The birth scene was unbelievable. I can only imagine what that will be like on the big screen. I actually cried for Bella, thinking she was really dead (and not "undead") when Jacob was saying she was dead. Going forward, into her new life, I absolutely LOVED how Bella's words started again as she was being made vampire. I loved the burning and her not being able to move. I loved her waking up and thinking Edward was 10 times the kickass hottie we all already know he was in the first place. I loved reading about the dust motes and the particles of light and everything she was taking in. And I even loved the hunting, which was something I really didn't know if I'd be able to handle. It's all been done so well. OK I was a little bummed that there wasn't a serious "bodice ripping" scene (as my friend Linda calls them) in the woods, but I got over it. It happened in my mind, and that's really all that matters, I suppose. Damn teen novel.

I knew Jacob imprinted as soon as Bella woke up and they said he was still there. What an interesting concept. That is going to be fun to watch. Although I'm no dope; I know there is danger on the horizon. I'm assuming the Volturi will be getting involved - and since Beth said the ending was gut-wrenching, I'm assuming somebody dies. Either that, or the roller coaster is going to get crazy and sad before it ends, happily, I hope? Either way, I don't think I can NOT read this book at the same pace I've been reading since Day 1. I know a lot of people who have said they had to stretch it out, knowing the Cullens would be out of their lives forever once the book is over. But I need to know what happens. Put it this way, I knew the sex of both of my children before they were born. I'm just that person who "needs to know".

What's in a Name?

RENESMEE?!

More like RIDICULOUSME!

Team Jacob

SPOILER ALERT - Do not read until you're well into "Breaking Dawn", when Bella starts to resemble Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

OK - I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm really starting to cheer for Team Jacob. Talk about saving the day. Even when Bella's at her worst, Jacob comes around cracking jokes and making everyone smile. Even Edward. And on yeah...about Edward. I love the character with every fiber of my being. COMMA HOWEVER. He is truly on my last nerve, laying at Bella's feet and whimpering like my 6 year old when she gets a paper cut. BUTCH the F UP, my friend! He definitely lost a few points for his less-than-stellar behavior through this whole pregnancy nonsense. I realize he's in pain and scared upset and and and....but still. Where's the cocky attitude now, Edward? Where's Mister "I can change my class schedule because the women in the office love me"? Where's Mister "I can drive and run and speak faster than everyone on the planet"? Where's Mister "Hop up and I'll fly you around the Pacific Northwest on my rock hard shoulders"? Nowhere to be found. Gone - almost like when he was gone in New Moon, only to be replaced by a tiny shadow of himself. I say GET UP - beat the CRAP out of Rosalie - tell Emmett to STEP the F BACK - and have Carlisle do what he needs to do. And while he's at it, he should tell Bella to shut the hell up, too. She is a menace to society. Certainly to all who love her. She's torn apart the Cullen family...and now she's torn the Pack apart as well. Is anyone ever going to stand up to her and call her out for the selfish beotch she truly is? I'm thinking no. But maybe Jacob will surprise me even more than he already has. Stay tuned! PS - I want to predict that Jacob will imprint on Leah (or is it the other way around?) but that sounds a little too predictable - and Stephenie Meyer likes to take you to the water and then rip you away before you drink. Wouldn't it be FANTASTIC if he imprinted on Rosalie? Now THAT would be SICK FUN!