What you Need for your Vampire Boyfriend

Holy crap, this is the most boring blog on the planet right now!  I can't help it; I refuse to look at any of the Breaking Dawn movie stuff online!  It's the last hurrah, people!  I don't want to see it before the movie comes out (in 8 million months)!

So...there isn't much to blog about right now.  COMMA HOWEVER, I just ran into this juicy little morsel on FunnyOrDie.com - and just about fell off my damned chair.  I know it's a recycle since I've posted it before, but who cares?  Watch it and see how quickly YOU fall of your chair, too!

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

Literal Eclipse

Love.

My Twilight AND Outlander Purgatory!

Before watching this video, I have a few disclaimers:

1) It is for entertainment purposes only...aka it's supposed to make y'all giggle and I don't mean to step on any toes and I credited everyone at the end.

2) I am a total video amateur and it shows. But I couldna help it, Sassenachs. I just... had to make it.

3) I hope you like it. :)

Jasper Hale Doll

Oh holy hell... THIS just about made me pee my pantalones. $149.00!!! Now.. don't get me wrong.. I love myself some Jasper Hale. But really? REALLY?! Then again - he does come with the Cullen bracelet. Not too shabby!! Another thing I love is the groovy hair. I think it's more groovy than Jackson Rathbone's! 

Robert Pattinson To Play ‘Renesmee’s Lullaby’ In Breaking Dawn!

Oh my god. THIS news from breakingdawnmovie.org is SQUEELICIOUS!!!! We've been waiting since TWILIGHT to hear/see RPattz play again! (insert nervous laughter here)

Robert Pattinson is highest earning British star of 2010

Something tells me Robert Pattinson is not bothered by THIS!!!

Is Kstew an "extraordinary actress"?

Am I the only one who gets tired of watching young (albeit gorgeous, well maybe not in this video) Hollywood actors kiss each others' asses? She's such an "extraordinary actress"??  Dude. Seriously. C'mon. Hellen Mirren is an "extraordinary actress". Dame Judy Dench is an "extraordinary actress".  Kristen Stewart - while being a good actress with a solid resume - has a way to go before she hits "extraordinary" status. Why feel the need to kiss your best friend's girlfriend's ass? Chill and speak the truth. They'll like you anyway.

Henry Cavill Cast as the New Superman - E! Online

Henry Cavill Cast as the New Superman - E! Online

Oooh yum. Stephenie Meyer's "Edward Cullen" is going to play Superman. I thought I'd seen enough Supermen to last me a lifetime....but clearly not! A flying Charles Brandon, here we come!!!

Hysterical, Party of 1?

Meet Stephenie Meyer at the Twilight International Fan Event

Check this out - you can enter a contest to win a chance to meet Stephenie Meyer - along with 9 other winners - from 9 other parts of the world. That would be pretty cool, would it not?

Twilight Composer Carter Burwell Returns For Breaking Dawn

THIS page I found over at breakingdawnmovie.org is absolutely SQUEE-RIFIC!!! How much do you love/miss Bella's lullaby?? I can't wait to "hear" Breaking Dawn!!

More Fun with Twilight Tattoos!

Oh yes she DID!!!!  Click it, ya'll. Wait until you see what this Twihard has done to her person... all in the name of RPattz. You cannot MAKE THIS SHIZZLE UP!

I want to see her stomach when she finally gets that done, too!

Happy Belated Birthday Stephenie Meyer!

Totally forgot...Happy (belated) Birthday to Stephenie Meyer!
I am terrible! Why? Because we SHARE A BIRTHDAY!

Hilarious New Eclipse Trailer

Thanks to Jenn D for the link!!!

Robert Pattinson is BOTHERED...Again!

Robsten Commentary on the Motorcycle Scene in Eclipse

"the most, like, intense form of pretentious dishevelment I've ever seen".

It's THAT type of statement that makes me love Robert Pattinson. Seriously. You can keep the hair and the eyes and the blahbady blah blah. At the end of the day, the guy just cracks me up.

AWESOME Edward Cullen Video

You MUST watch this video from EverLUSTneverFOUND on youtube. It TOTALLY captures Edward Cullen and his sarcastic little attitude. Um, OK...YUM?!

PS - Thanks to JENN D for sending it in. She is the BEST source for all things Edward-rific!!!

Eclipse DVD - With Robsten Commentary!

OMG I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT to get the Eclipse DVD!!! Usually I'm like "yeah whatever" about DVD extras...but this seems like so much fun! I totally want to hang out with Robsten and have an Arnold Palmer and chit chat about how brazen Jacob is, y'all! I wonder if they make these little commentary recordings in their jammies. I so would.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Breaking What?

ECLIPSE comes out on DVD one week from tomorrow, peeps.  Run and tell THAT.

Eclipse Footage - An AHHHHMMMMYYYYY of Vampires!

Someone's creating an AHHHHHHMMMMMMYYYYYYYY of vampires!!!!!!!  While everyone else is peeking at Breaking Dawn footage, I'm salivating over the Eclipse scenes coming out - bad, grainy picture and all!! December 4th, here I come!!!

Bill Condon Tweets Pic of Bella w/ Feathers for Thanksgiving! - Twifans

OK y'all - so I'm NOT looking at photos from the Breaking Dawn shoot... but that doesn't mean YOU CAN'T! So... here are some Tweets Pic of Bella w/ Feathers that Bill Condon apparently Tweeted for Thanksgiving. ENJOY!!

Vampire Diaries: Those "Other" Vampires!

No Breaking Dawn Spoilers!

Am I the only one who is not looking at any more Breaking Dawn coverage? I stopped with the first set of photos of the street party and the boat. I just can't do it y'all...I can't! I looked at Edward and Bella reuniting in New Moon when the photos first came out... and regretted it BIG time when I saw the film. This is it. The last hurrah. The last book made into film(s). I have to savor the experience and be completely shocked at everything!

Am I the only one of this mindset?!

Edward Cullen's Breaking Dawn Wardrobe. REALLY???

It's that time of year again... the time when the leaves are falling... and the air is crisp... and I feel the desperate need to discuss what Edward's been wearing lately.

Case in point. Really? REALLY?!? Are you effing KIDDING ME?!?

Edward Cullen... the man who wore mostly white or light-colored clothing. The man who wore snazzy leather jackets and turtlenecks. The man who would never in a gazillion years (about how long he's been alive) be caught DEAD (uh...nevermind) wearing an ensemble like THIS on his honeymoon.

Yeah. THAT Edward.

I mean... I just don't get it. Did he buy that shirt at the Catholic School Uniform Shop??? And PS, Edward, it's pretty see-through, mmmkay? You are one rain shower away from being naked from the waist up. And the pants. Lorddddddd the pants! I have two words for you: BO. RING.  And I don't really understand the shoes as they are brown and the pants are black. But whatevs. I'm so far gone over the rest of it that I can't even bother myself with what he's wearing on his feet.

And let me ask you this: If he's so freezing all the time then why in god's name are his sleeves rolled up that far?!? Riddle me THAT, Batman!!!

Now Bella... BELLA on the other hand.... Somebody call Patsy and Eddy because she is Absolutely FABULOUS!! Adorable little ensem... thanks to Alice's swell taste in clothing. Thank god the powers that be didn't mess with what Bella should be wearing on a proper honeymoon. And I think she's even wearing a lot of her own hair. Just fabu.

Twilight on the Simpsons

Daniel Radcliffe from the Harry Potter films does the voice of "Edmund". Hilarious!

THERE WAS NO STREET SCENE IN BREAKING DAWN! Seclusion means SECLUSION!!!

Oh. My. God. I'm trying my very best not to be absolutely heartbroken about this. This is a massive story change. The whole point of Isle Esme was that they were SECLUDED. Just Edward - and Bella. From the moment they got on that boat - until the moment they left - with the housekeepers being the only humans who came near them. That's IT. Their seclusion lent to the craziness of the situation!! There was no street party. I mean - don't get me wrong - a street party scene might be cool. But it's not them! It's not the scene! Edward wanted to get Bella AWAY from people. And he took her in that boat by HIMSELF and knew exactly where he was going in the dark. It put the reader on such a  sensory journey because - while being excited to get away with Edward - you were also a little scared about the fact that you were completely alone on a DESERTED ISLAND with a VAMPIRE.

(puts head down on table) 

I knew this would happen at some point. This Condon guy is totally changing the story. And with that, he's changing the characters. :(

Rob Pattinson Filming the Breaking Dawn Boat Scene

Ooooh children...it's allll happening! Wait until you see these pictures of Rob and he and Kristen's body/stunt/cappuccino-testing doubles... filming the BOAT scene from Breaking Dawn! Yessiree children. It. Is. ON!!!!!!

Thank you Thinking Of Rob for these lovely photos!

New Twilight Saga Barbie Doll - JANE!

Check out the new JANE BARBIE !  I think she's fabu!

Interview with Anne Rice: 'Vampire' writer talks about creating characters and stories you can sink your teeth into | NJ.com

Check out the full NJ.com interview with Anne Rice here.


Q. It is complicated, which is why I have such mixed feelings about “Twilight.” It’s so sanitized.
A. It’s based on a really silly premise: that immortals would go to high school. It’s a failure of imagination, but at the same time, that silly premise has provided Stephenie Meyer with huge success. It’s almost like a stroke of genius to put vampires in high school. They just graduate over and over again.

Q. I hated high school.
A. Doesn’t everyone? The idea that if you are immortal you would go to high school instead of Katmandu or Paris or Venice, it’s the vampire dumbed down for kids. But it’s worked. It’s successful. It makes kids really happy.

Q. It seems those books are sanitized whereas in the rest of pop culture, you’ll see very young girls dressed in an overtly sexual manner. The vampires are wholesome compared with the rest of what’s out there.
A. I don’t think vampires are very wholesome. They’re fantasy characters, and we have to keep reminding ourselves of this. They don’t exist. I get e-mails from people who are outraged that I watch “True Blood.” They say, “How can you condone the evil of ‘True Blood.’” I say, “Are you kidding? Vampires aren’t real. Keep that in mind.”

Breaking Dawn Filming News: Cullen & Bella’s House Being Built Set Photos

These photos from BreakingDawnMovie.org are cool. But please tell me they're going to be left for Habitat for Humanity or something afterward? I mean - building a house - multiple housES - for the film? It just seems like time wasted that could be spent building homes for people who need them! I dunno... am I being a wuss??

Breaking Dawn (In Our Reach

Hey check this out - this is a new song from Crystal Newman called "Breaking Dawn (In Our Reach)" and it's about Breaking Dawn. It's really good! I wonder if she can get this into the film?!

Supernatural Rips on Twilight

I cannot TELL you how hard I am laughing right now. Sam and Dean can say anything they want and I will ALWAYS laugh my ass off. Srsly.

Breaking Dawn Filming News: Rob, Kristen, and Taylor Have Arrived In Louisiana! - Breaking Dawn Movie

Breaking Dawn Filming News: Rob, Kristen, and Taylor Have Arrived In Louisiana! - Breaking Dawn Movie

Love this. Get in there - do your thang - and make us proud!!

New Breaking Dawn Fan Made Trailer - AWESOME!

Edward + Bella = Rensemee!

This photo from Facebook is SQUEE-RIFIC to the Nth degree!!!

Nikki Reed Talks Rosalie and Jacob in Breaking Dawn

MTV Shows

A special note from Bill Condon about BREAKING DAWN

Check out this special note from Bill Condon on THE TWILIGHT SAGA page on Facebook. The page has all kinds of updates, too... like what actors have been cast as the Denali clan, etc.

Mackenzie Foy Photo Shoots - Possible Renesmee in Breaking Dawn

As much of an absolute Cute-E-Pie as this little one is... How old is she?? Wasn't Renesmee pretty much a toddler for most of the book? I'm confused.

My Breaking Dawn Wish List

Here's an add-on to the story I always thought would be so cool in the film:

Wouldn't it be cool if - while Jacob was speeding through the Northwest in Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish - Tanya was running though the woods, fast as lightning, and caught up with him? Then Tanya gets in the car and Jacob lets her drive Edward's beloved car. And Tanya is speeding like a mofo - to the point where Jacob is holding on for dear life - and Tanya is laughing at him the whole time. But she's doing it because she's so devastated that Edward doesn't love her - and it makes her feel good to know she's driving his precious car.

Mike Newton: Teenage Criminal at Large.

Dudes, Mike Newton is on Criminal Minds at this very second, acting like a BAD ASS.

I think I like it!

Newcomer Mackenzie Foy To Play Renesmee? - Breaking Dawn Movie

How cute is this little girl?

Maggie Grace joins 'Breaking Dawn' cast

Holy CRAP! THIS is AWESOME. I LOVE MAGGIE GRACE!!! Remember when she used to boss Boone around on LOST???  And now she's going to boss EVERYONE around in Breaking Dawn. Well not directly. And she does bite it pretty good at the end. But still. She's a big, ol' BEOTCH who thinks she has been wronged.  I can only hope we get some good Edi Gathegi flashbacks out of this. Let's be honest - the franchise took a downturn when Laurent was killed. If there is anything I wish they'd have changed from the books... it's that! (And Edward's stupid MOM-MOBILE - but I digress.)

Twilight the Film: Where's the Beef?

Ya know... I'm sitting here watching Twilight (what can I say? It's on TV! Can't turn it off, right?!) and I never realized before... how much they effed up by not showing the day-to-day routine of Edward and Bella. In the books, he slept over there every single night. And they kissed... ALL the time. And yet - from this movie - all you know is that they kissed once and that he stayed at her house once (right after the aforementioned kiss) while she slept. And he looked uncomfortable, too. It just didn't happen that way at all. He was a fixture in Bella's bedroom for months - on a daily basis. And did I mention that they KISSED - a LOT!

Having said that - props to Catherine Hardwicke for the following:

- Edward AND Bella are pale as shit. VERY true.

- The music - incredible - PUTS you in Forks.

- La Push - S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G - even though it wasn't really La Push.

Jamie Campbell Bower in the buff...on a boat...

Check out this DELICIOUS shot of Jamie Campbell Bower from Twifans. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Unforch, I'm not even sure he's 22 yet. LOL He's filming "Camelot" for Starz, where he'll play King Arthur. I find that squee-rific... even if he is barely legal. Pillars of the Earth - also on Starz -  was fabu. They do love their cute little British boys now don't they?

So glad we'll be seeing JCB in Breaking Dawn. He's so adorable, even when he's playing a centuries-old, bratty vampire...

And For the Rest of my Life I Was Like...

Thanks to Dustin for sending this roflrazzi link to me this AM. This made my damn day.

Rumor Alert: Summit Working on First 'Twilight' Spin-Off - Cinematical

Should I feel bad that I have a big, fat "who the eff cares?" attitude about this?

I didn't think so.

"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn" Vancouver Set Visit!

"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn" Vancouver Set Visit - up for grabs on EBAY!

For just under $10K (as of this second) you can go to the Breaking Dawn set and meet the cast. "Put some more money in my account, will you dahhhhling?"

Kristen Stewart playing Bella's Breaking Dawn violent birth scenes as written

From SheKnows.com: Kristen Stewart playing Bella's Breaking Dawn violent birth scenes as written

From Melissa Rosenberg, screenwriter for the Twilight series:

"It's on their faces. It's all from Bella's point of view when you're seeing what's going on. It should feel visceral. I think it's going to be pretty intense."

OOOOOH SNAP!!! It's from Bella's point of view. When I was reading it, since Bella was pretty much out after her spinal cord snaps, I always saw the scene from sortof in the middle of Edward and Jacob. Edward on my left (I almost typed "lap") at Bella's feet - Jacob on my right at Bella's head. But we're going to see both Edward and Jacob from Bella's perspective! That gets me all tingley inside! I could weep with joy!

First Look At The Little Girl Up For The Part Of Renesmee!

So cool. I love this girl! I'm so stoked! How are we supposed to wait a year for this?!?

Breaking Dawn Casting News: First Look At The Little Girl Up For The Part Of Renesmee! - Breaking Dawn Movie

Holy Mother of Isle Esme

Found this over at breakingdawnmovie.org and just about shat my pantalones when I saw it.

Nikki Reed Talks "Breaking Dawn"

I found this article interesting. Nikki Reed talks about Rosalie's (formerly Carol's) motives in letting Bella continue on with a pregnancy that she knows will most likely kill her.

I loved this storyline in Breaking Dawn. I loved pondering Rosalie's motives... and her relationship with Bella AND Edward during the whole pregnancy and birth. It's really twisted and ugly if you think about it. Rosalie is one bad mofo who needs her own bad mofo wallet!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Filming Schedule

According to a recent Tweet from Production Weekly:

"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn" has opened up new production offices in Baton Rouge, filming is scheduled from November 1 - March 15.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Kissing! (PHOTOS)

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Kissing! (PHOTOS)

Oh for the love of all that's holy. Just someone please make sure these two are still happy together during the duration of the Breaking Dawn filming? Then I don't care WHAT they do.

KThxBye.

Kellan Lutz in Atlantic City

This kills me. Normally I don't post about the cast (unless their last name is Pattinson) but COME ON! AC??? I live an hour away! I could totally have gone to this! I would have shown Emmett the love!!!

I wonder if he was any good? Does he DJ a lot? Or is this new? What would be REALLY cool would be seeing 100 Monkeys with KLutz DJing between sets. 

Source: celebrity-gossip.net via eclipsemovie.org.

Twilight... with cheeseburgers

I thought it was time to revisit this hilarity. Enjoy!

Twilight... with cheeseburgers

Vampires Suck

Holy crap - I squee with anticipation for this hilarious movie to come out. I can't even stop watching the trailer!!!  "It's Raining Men" almost made me fall off my damn chair. Srsly.

DOH!

Hilarity from eatliver.com!

Robert Pattinson Excited for Breaking Dawn's 'Pillow-Biting' Sex Scene

OH my. LOVE that RPattz can't wait to bite the pillow according to People Magazine. That conjures up all SORTS of lovely visions, does it not?

Lee Pace to Play Edward's BFF in Breaking Dawn?

Lee Pace to Play Edward's BFF in Breaking Dawn?

Ooooh delish!!!

Robert Pattinson Gets Chased By Paparazzi Slime

Holy crap. I don't usually post stuff like this because I feel like I'm contributing to the madness. But this time I WANT to. I WANT people to see how relentless and DANGEROUS these parasites are. He's asking them to go away because he has a hard time DRIVING while they're driving up close to him and cutting him off and running stop signs, trying to get a photograph. It's unreal. Actually, it's not, unfortunately. (Two words: Princess Diana). And he's right; they've got a million pictures! You got what you wanted - now GO AWAY. You KNOW they were hoping he'd hit them or grab their camera or something. And did he? No way. What a class act. Honest to god - Robert Pattinson is heads and shoulders above so many other actors in that regard. He's a nice guy. Show some integrity and leave him alone.

Breaking Dawn (but not placenta)

OK so isn't THIS an interesting little Pop Sugar interview with Melissa Rosenberg.... Complete with the following commentary regarding what we will and WILL NOT see in the birthing scene:

The childbirth — all the scenes, I feel — should be on screen. I think perhaps what I was referring to was, would we actually see Edward's teeth through the placenta? I don't think so. I don't think we need to see that, and if someone needs to see that, I think they should take a look at that. [Laughs.] I believe it will be implied, but I don't think we'll see teeth in the placenta. 

Frankly... I don't know how I feel about that. I mean - Do I want to see Rob Pattinson's face all full of reproductive lady gunk? Um, no. But... do I want it to be DAMN WELL IMPLIED what he did to save Bella? Abso-effing-lutely. 

I also found the following to be a VERY interesting quote regarding Kristen Stewart and what she'll have to do once Bella is no longer human:


I think seeing Bella as a vampire and her adjusting to her powers and embracing them, those are all really fun scenes to write. Particularly when you picture Kristen Stewart playing her, and the way she's embodied Bella as a sort of awkward, fidgety persona. When she turns into a vampire, all of that goes away.


Well.... now... isn't that interesting??? Kstew is going to be expected to be NORMAL once Bella turns. No breathing heavily... no worried eyes... no staring straight ahead as if at nothing when looking at Edward. (But not straight into his eyes... we know that's not possible.)  That alone will be worth the price of the ticket (most likely $20 by the time the damn thing comes out)... definitely.

Fun with Eclipse!

So Jenn D was visiting from Erie over the weekend (we're not WORTHY, oh subject of PFach's Tweets!) and of course we had to see Eclipse again to produce some new blog fodder.  And we made some interesting observations (which Jenn refers to as "Mega Eclipse Blog Points" which I thought was pretty dang amusing) regarding everyone's favorite Twi-film:


1.  The wigs.  LORDDDDDD THE WIGS!  What the hell HAPPENED in Eclipse?!  Have you noticed that not only does Kstew wear a wig, but she wears multiple wigs. They are:

* Christian Rock Wig (borrowed from Jacob)
* Pageant Wig (very full, wavy and 80s)
* Wednesday Adams Wig (flat-ironed on the top and sides)
* Victoria's Secret Wig (wavy but not quite as big as Pageant Wig)


I'll have to see it again to remember when each wig was worn... but I do know the Pageant wig was from the last scene in the meadow. It was like Ken Paves came in and said "Quiet on the set, people! I need to CREATE!"

Then there is Carlisle's horrendous lemon, yellow wig... and Rosalie's "perfectly quaffed but still obviously a wig" wig.  And lord... why didn't they dye her eyebrows to match?!

2.  Rob Pattinson is like the light from the arc of the covenant in Indiana Jones. At one point, during the "bed scene",  Tracey says to me "Kristen doesn't even look into Rob's eyes" to which I reply "Dude he's ROB PATTINSON. No mere mortal can look him directly in the eyes."

3. Robstank. While discussing the aforementioned RPattz, Jennifer decides she thinks he smells lovely. I then remind her about Catherine Hardwicke's commentary about him picking up his buddy's shirt off the floor and wearing it to an awards show, after said buddy wore it drumming at a gig the night before. Jenn proceeds to tell me that even if Rob smelled "musky and spunky" she would still love him. I cannot remember the last time I giggled so profusely.

4.  Why don't they ever let Esme talk?

5.  Carlisle's New British Accent.  Lorddddd the accent!  Why don't I remember quite such an over-the-top accent from Twilight or New Moon?  They're creating an AHHHHHMY! What is THAT all about?? That must be the new direction. Not that I don't like it. I am just not used to Carlisle from Yorkshire. It's funny because I said I couldn't remember where Carlisle was from.. and asked if he was from Italy. Jenn then said "Italy? Hello?! His NAME is CARLISLE CULLEN!" I had a giggle fit at this and almost drove off the road.

6. Rosalie Cullen. Mafia Princess.  Seriously. Tracey was giggling during Rosalie's little Royce story because Nikki Reed is from NYC... and Tracey thought it came through loud and clear.  I had to tell her to pipe down because the people a few rows behind us might get upset. And please - again - DYE HER EYEBROWS to match her (bad) wig!

7. Action Figure Cullens. You have to LOVE that scene where they're waiting for the fight - clad all in black - waiting for Victoria's minions. And then the wolves all jump into the action and it's way cool... and Tracey says to me "how do the wolves know which vampires to kill?" to which I reply "the Cullens are all wearing their black, action figure suits. The wolves will know."

And Jenn D wants to know why the wolves don't have any "junk". And how they all show up clad in their denim manpri's when none of them tie their shorts around their legs like Jacob did in the book. And don't get me started on Leah. Somehow she's able to produce a shirt and bra out of thin air.

I HAVE SEEN ECLIPSE!

Went with my Twi-Buds, Jenn and Shannon. My apologies to my friends who haven't seen it yet. We realized last minute that we had an open window - and ran with it - which is a necessary evil when you have young kids who need babysitters. The husbands are home to watch 'em? "GO GO GO!" (yelled like a S.W.A.T. team outside Tony Soprano's house.)

Anyway - I have every intention of going back - so just say the word, and I'm there.

OK - Here is my synopsis: 

I. Loved. It!!!  SO much. To the point where I had tears in my eyes during the credits - because I was so happy it was so good. David Slade is a god ("no God").  I was pretty sure of this going INTO the film....but was convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt when I came out. It was beautiful. And it truly worked.  Here's how good it was:  My favorite parts of the book were NOT in the movie... and yet... I loved it. How's THAT for good direction???

So many comments... so little time...

Credit where it's due:

KRISTEN STEWART WAS GREAT!  She hit it right out of the ball park. No sniveling...no loud breathing...no whining. Just Bella. A little down in the dumps and in desperate need of a laugh once in a while... but just Bella. And she doesn't a) write the script or b) direct  - so I have nothing but love for her today. Nothing but love.

JACKSON RATHBONE WAS BEYOND!  He was awesome. I have been waiting for 3 films for that man to get his comeuppance... and boy does he in this film. He looks great - his acting is superb (I think I cried for him at one point) and he is just a star in the making. It's wonderful to watch.

JULIA JONES aka Leah Clearwater. The GREATEST casting in the history of casting. She was FANTASTIC. She made me happy to have read an entire series of Twilight books. She restored my faith in the bringing life to these characters. THAT'S how good she was.

XAVIER SAMUEL - holy crap, kid. Where'd YOU come from??? Talk about seeming like a seasoned professional. Hollywood better not eff this up. This kid is a star.

I have to see the film again (and see it again, I will), because so much of it has left my brain already... but a few of the odder things I do remember:

Ugh. Carlisle. Poor Carlisle. What have they done to you, my lemon-haired friend? Why have they turned you into a caricature with a bad Madonna-esque British accent?  Who stole my beautiful Carlisle and left Liberace in his place?! Why?? WHY?!?! (screamed like Nancy Kerrigan.)

The Cullens - waiting for Victoria and standing in formation like the A Team. What was that all about?  I guess it was done to make the guys happy. That's the only reason I can possibly attribute to that weirdness.

And speaking of Victoria. All I can say is a big, fat MEH!  She was horrible!!! No offense to Bryce Dallas Howard because she's a great actress. But she was SO miscast. She was way too cute to be Victoria. An the wig was so god awful, I didn't know what to do with myself. Rachelle Lefevre was robbed... and moreso the AUDIENCE was robbed of her beautiful portrayal of such an evil character. It didn't work at all - but would have been golden with Rachelle. Epic Summit FAIL.

That's it for now. Until 15 minutes from now when I think about something new. See y'all soon!

Friggin Twilight

Since I live at the Jersey Shore - and am 1/2 Italian,  I have never warmed up to these kids; until now. This. Is. HYSTERICAL. Go Team Snooki.

TODAY'S THE DAY!

Am I seeing Eclipse tonight? No way in hell.
Am I seeing it tomorrow night? NOT.

I am a self-professed pain in the ass. I MUST wait a good, solid week or so. By then all the crazy will die down and I won't be in danger of dealing with the following:

1. Someone with a big head/hat sitting in front of me. 
2. Tweens talking loudly to each other while I'm trying to hear Edward being funny.
3. A sold-out theatre (which makes for a loud and hot theatre.) 
4. Twi-Freaks (snicker. I know what you're thinking and you're probably right.)
5. Refer back to #3 (also makes for various, indescribable odors.)

It's all about the experience, y'all. And a theatre that's half-full (or less) makes for a very good Twi-Experience for Carol. My love of Edward Cullen leaves little room for hype. Not that hype is bad. I absolutely get the desire to be a "part of it all". So if you are going tonight - ENJOY!!!!! :)

Twilight Mahem in LA - Newsy Report

Check out this video and then check out my commentary below. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts.



Heard about this video from Thomas over at Newsy. Great video! Did I not tell you it's a little nutty camping out like this? Nothing against the Twihards who did it (yeah yeah, I've gone to a Twilight Convention) but seriously. It gets pretty crazy when they're giving out a ridiculous number of wristbands and they can't hold even half as many people!  And really, what for? To catch a glimpse of a bunch of actors who - while appreciative of your support - think it's pretty damned creepy that you're doing it in the first place. THEY DO! Except maybe PFach. He seems to dig all this hysteria. ;)

Now sit back on your lil' pillows children, because I'm going to tell a story. Last year when Robert Pattinson was filming "Remember Me" in NYC, my friends and I thought it would be fun to go into the city and watch some filming. I had the ridiculously naive idea that we were going to go to an open air cafe... have a little lunch... stop by and quietly watch a little RPattz making his magic... and then have a lovely ride home on the New Jersey Coastline - back home to the other Jersey Shore (the one without Snooki and the Situation). Nice day out among friends, right? COME TO FIND OUT little girlies were flooding the filming areas...chasing Rob down the street,,, and - ew - trying to touch him. I took one look at the footage... felt SO BAD for the guy (and the terrified look on his face) and said "You know how we can best show our support? By STAYING THE HELL HOME."

Rob, I hope you realize there are cool fans out there who do right by you, dude. When all the little girlies are all "I want to marry Rob", you'll only hear ME saying "That guy seems like he would be a hell of a lot of fun to meet down at the pub for a pint." Maybe that's because I'm old enough to be your older sister. I really don't know...

Tom and Lorenzo Dish up the Red Carpet at the Eclipse Premiere

THIS is just such wonderful/hilarious/SPOT ON commentary on the ensems seen at the Eclipse premiere this week. If you aren't reading Tom and Lorenzo; you really should be.

PS - JLove - I love you. I support your career. I think you're adorable.  So please... no more orange, girl! Don't get me wrong, I single-handedly keep the tanning lotion market in business. But play around. Experiment. You'll find the shade that's right for you. 

Robert Pattinson is Related to Vlad the Impaler (aka Dracula!)

Coolest. Story. Ever.

(Getty/Handout photo)

Robert Pattinson is BOTHERED by the World Cup. (That makes two of us.)

People Camp out in LA for "Eclipse" Premiere

You. Couldn't. Pay. Me.  I love me some Edward Cullen but there is a line and I have no problem drawing it. Something tells me Rob Pattinson - while flattered - would be somewhat bothered by all the crazy. 
I am not even planning on going to see Eclipse until July. Yup. You read that right. I am a movie ho and I refuse to see it in a packed theatre with little girlies talking about RPattz loudly to their BFFs on their cellphones.

Photo courtesy of Eclipsemovie.org.

Watching Twilight... Again

Sigh. Channel surfing.. and Twilight is on. God I love this movie. I could watch this movie over and over again. What's with that? Why have I watched this about 56 times... and I've only watched New Moon once since I bought the DVD (uh.. the day it came out)?

Random questions: 

Why did Bella have a MacBook Pro in the movie when the book Bella had an old, rusty computer with a horrendous connection like 28K?

Why was Edward such a douche when Bella told him she knew he was a vampire? Why not the meadow scene from the book? Because it was better cinema? 

Why was Kristen Stewart so much better in Twilight than New Moon?

Holy shit I am TEARING UP at the "lion fell in love with the lamb" lines. This movie is so incredibly powerful. I don't know why people can't see that. It taps into the emotions of the book so incredibly well. I fear none of the other movies will ever do this.

Kudos - once again - to Catherine Hardwicke. SHE GETS IT.

The "Leg Hitch" Scene

Oh LORD I hope it's good. Can it come anywhere close to the book?! Can't wait to find out!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Bad Hair Day

Yikes. It's like a goth Carol Brady meets... well a really hot guy with some hairdressing issues. Poor Jacksper. What have they done to you, you minty, calming manpire?!  Then again, at least they used his own hair and not a lemon wig like Carlisle and Rosalie.

Summit Announces Two Breaking Dawn Films

BIG SHOCKER! Wow - never expected THIS!

Ya know what? SCOOP OF CHOCOLATE, SCOOP OF VANILLA! DON'T WASTE MY TIME!!! We've all known for months. Just like we've known Robsten are a couple. Yawn.

Here's what Twilight fans REALLY want to know:

WHERE will the book be cut? Jenn D has suggested (quite brilliantly) that it will be right smack in the middle of Bella birthin' that baby. Talk about a cliff-hanger. If I hadn't read the books... but seen the movies? I'd be PISSED if they did that. Either way, I'm going to be annoyed. And here's why: THERE IS LITTLE TO NO EDWARD CULLEN in the second half of Breaking Dawn! WHAT is the second film even going to BE about?? OK let's see - she'll squirt out Renesme... (ew) Jacob will imprint... (cute but icky)... Edward and Bella spend the night in their new cottage (IT'S ABOUT TIME, Y'ALL)  and then it all goes tragically downhill from there. Lots of frolicking in the grass with Bella The New Vampire... and Renesme the Sortof New Vampire... and then the houseguests from hell arrive. ZZZZZ. And then they will train for the big fight that never happened... only it WILL happen in the movie because - for some reason - Summit digs showing us fight scenes that never happened in the books! (I repeat: Edward Cullen never got his ass kicked!!!) So we'll come to a crescendo with the Volturri... and the fight that never happened... and then all will be right with the Twilight universe. The End.

Kinda makes you want to shoot your eye out, doesn't it, kid?

PS - Oh c'mon. You know I'll be all full of "squeeee" and girly giggles when the shit comes out.

Rob Pattinson Interview with New Eclipse Trailer

So many comments... so little time.  Not sure how to describe this new scene... but "hot, tranny mess" does come to mind. OK - here we go:

1) Squeeeee!
2) Oh Carlisle. Sweet Carlisle. What have they done to your coif? LORDDDDD that's a bad shade of lemon.
3) What's with Bella's constant agony? I keep expecting Esme to say "Bella, dear, do you have to go to the bathroom?"
4) I LOVE how Jacksper saunters in all "hey dudes, just act natural and don't nobody mention my nifty new 'do.
5) Rosalie. The most beautiful vampire chick on the planet? Survey says: NO!

Thank you, Girl!

So this girl was found  hiding with her camera in the bushes near Robert Pattinson's "Water For Elephants" set in Cali on Friday....in hopes she'd get to meet him. Apparently she was 16 and the police gave her a "stern warning" and drove her to her house after finding her. (That would never happen to me. It's not like I ever drove around with my friends looking for John Taylor's house in Cali back in the 90s or anything. Nope. Not me.)

You know what? I SO want RPattz to go visit her like when Davy Jones visits Marcia on The Brady Bunch. Would that not be hilarious?! 

MTV Awards Tonight!

I'm at Jenn M's waiting for the MTV Movie Awards to start so we can see our Twilight pals up close and personal. Hopefully they'll win everything like last year. And maybe Rob and Kristen actually WILL kiss this year.

Do I sound like I'm 14? Survey says "YES!"  When I told my husband I was going to Jenn's tonight he said "You're going to your girlfriend's house to watch the MTV Awards?"  Yeah. It was pretty damned funny.

We are SUFFERING through this hideous Jersey Shore bullshiz in order to get to the awards. UGH. When you actually LIVE at the Jersey Shore and know it's NOTHING LIKE THIS (except in Seaside and Wildwood)... it's really offensive. (And no offense to Seaside and Wildwood - you guys get inundated with people like this. Most of them AREN'T EVEN FROM NEW JERSEY!

OK gotsta go! KThxBye!

Kristen Stewart Flips the Bird

Really Kristen, really? And on Memorial Day, no less. C'mon. I know it's a pain in the ass when the photogs are following you 24/7. But show a little class, please. No one ever got further in life by giving the finger wave. (And a double, no less!) So be a lady and keep those middle fingers in check. KThxBye.

MTV Awards Commercial: Tom Cruise aka Les Grossman and Rob Pattinson

This will make you tinkle. If you haven't seen Tropic Thunder,  Tom Cruise is playing his character from the film - Les Grossman; a douchebag Hollywood producer.

Warning - Tom Cruise floats the f-biscuit once or twice in this video and a whole lotta times in the link. LOL

Eclipse Clip: "Give You More"

I need to see this movie already.  Because if I go by the trailers, I won't be happy. This little clip makes Edward sound like a whiny little wussy man. It's bad enough they let him get his ass kicked in New Moon. How many times can I say it? EDWARD CULLEN IS NOT A WUSSY MAN! HE'S A BADASS VAMPIRE WHO HAPPENS TO LOVE A HUMAN!  ENOUGH OF THE WHINING!!!

New Eclipse Trailer

This got me giddy just because Edward says "It's starting". Seriously. I miss Edward Cullen. I need a reread. PS - is it me or do the Cullens look like action figures in this shot? Especially Carlisle. They look like Pocket Cullens!!!

Eclipse Video Clip: BELLA AND ROSALIE!

Squeee! Squeee! Squeee! I've always loved the Bella/Rosalie dynamic... and now we get to see it up close and personal (in this person's yellow living room.) I'm a little nervous about the fact that from what I can see of Kristen Stewart's reactions, this might as well be a scene from New Moon... but we'll reserve judgment until Eclipse comes out. (Except Jenn D. She'll have plenty to say, I'm sure. LOL)

Stephanie Meyer's Eclipse Press Junket... FOR FAN SITES!!!!

DO go to Stephenie Meyer's website and read the LATEST!

Am I a horrible, HORRIBLE person if I'm hoping one of these sites "can't make it" (YEAH RIGHT) and Stephenie just happened to pick MYTWILIGHTPURGATORY.COM as a backup???

A girl can dream... right???

Young Hollywood Vampires

Honestly - I'm mostly posting this because Paul Wesley looks stunning... and I'm going through Vampire Diaries (TV) Withdrawal until September (SOB!)

Rob, Kristen and Taylor on Oprah.

Watching Rob, Kristen and Taylor on Oprah. Hilarious. They are all doing a great job (I know it's not live but work with me people!) And I have to say that Kristen looks gorgeous. Kudos, girl!

Happy Birthday Rob Pattinson!

Had to throw a "Happy Birthday" out there to the lovely 24 year-old who has done such a bang-up job playing our favorite vampire, Edward Cullen, on the big screen. I wish him much success... and hope he doesn't end up on Page 6 too often like he did this morning. Giggle.  (Can a nigga get a table dance?!)

ECLIPSE CAST ON OPRAH

Do NOT FORGET to set your DVRs for tomorrow - May 13th - to watch Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner on Oprah! I am dying to see the segment where Rob Pattinson walks into some fan's house; unannounced. As if you wouldn't fall over? I know I would. Jenn M have discussed exactly what we'd all do if that happened to us. It ain't pretty, folks... it ain't pretty.

Eclipse Reshoots: Is Robert Pattinson Not Working and Playing Well with Others? I'm Not Buyin' it!

Check out this article. We keep hearing rumblings of problems. Which is believable since they're doing reshoots so late in the game. BUT - I've always read how extremely professional Robert Pattinson has been on set - on pretty much any film he's ever worked on.

Bottom line - I don't believe he'd play Diva in the slightest. BUT where there is smoke, there is fire.... and I DO believe he won't do something if he strongly disagrees with it. Remember what Catherine said about him refusing to wear the extensions for Twilight?? (Thank GOD because that would have been horrible and Fabio-esque!)  And he went so far as to sit in the chair for 5 hours and get them - but when he saw them he said "No way!"

GOOD FOR YOU, ROB! Stick to your guns! He seems to be pretty in tune with Edward Cullen, don't you think? I think I trust him. I really do.

Bill Condon to Direct "Breaking Dawn".

OK so... it's official. Bill Condon will direct Breaking Dawn.  Not sure how to feel about this. The jury's still out here in Purgatory. I'm going to sit back and see what transpires.

Frankly, I'm just happy Summit FINALLY made an announcement. I was beginning to think Edward and Bella were going to remain eternal boyfriend and girlfriend in movieland.

Final Eclipse Trailer on Oprah

As someone said on youtube, OMFG!!!!!!  This looks so good I can't CONTAIN myself. When the vampire army comes out of the water I kept thinking "NO GOD!!"  Oh my god I love David Slade and I think bringing him in was the SMARTEST thing Summit has done to date. Let's review:

LOVE JASPER IN THIS . The hair look FABU!

Carlisle - where'd that British accent come from? You been hanging out with Madonna? Either way - it doesn't matter. You sound as hot as you look.

Alice - why oh why do we have to have the mousy soundbite in every trailer? It's getting comical.

The music in this trailer is AWESOME! It's the music all the fans always use when they make fan trailers. It's so much more in line with Twilight! I love it!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR ECLIPSE!

LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR ECLIPSE!!! OK sorry for the melt down but I'm getting excited. LOOK at Edward. He's DRESSED like Edward! A v-neck sweater! I'm swooning! Even something about Bella - she LOOKS like Bella should look. Mousy. Apprehensive. Jacob's not really doing it for me because he's supposed to look scary when really he just looks like a guy who's pissed because he missed the train to the gay pride parade. But I'm Team Edward anyway - so SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW Eclipse Trailer to Air on Oprah on Friday 4/23

Set your DVR's! Another Eclipse trailer airing on Oprah on Friday!!  Here's my question - who is on Oprah on Friday to make them air an Eclipse trailer??

Carlise Cullen Top's Forbes' Fictional 15 List!

THIS might be the coolest Twilight-related article I've ever seen. CARLISLE is NUMBER 1 on Forbes' "Fictional 15" list! That means he's the richest fictional character at a worth of a whopping 34 BILLION! Did you know Carlisle had that much money?! DAY-UM. Who knew? And if that's the case, why is Alice dressing in housecoats?!

Hey Carlisle! Can I borrow $450K for the 2nd question on the school budget vote? Thanks!

PS - EAT IT, OPRAH!!!!!!!!

Vancouver Reshoot Update and Clarification (thank god!)

OK so some of the info from the link in my last post is true - but a lot is not (thank you Jesus). And I'm cracking up at the commentary from Eclipsemovie.org. Apparently they're not big fans of Lainey Gossip.

Eclipse reshoots in Vancouver WITHOUT David Slade?!?

HOLY CRAP! I'd think this said "APRIL FOOL!" if it wasn't the 14th!!!

Twilight: How it Should Have Ended

ECLIPSE: 7 Minute Behind the Scenes Video

GREAT video. Although they might as well call this next flick "Eclipse: The Bad Hair Day" WOW. Don't even get me STARTED on the wann-be-ness of Victoria. And Carlisle. Ohhh Carlisle... what have they DONE to your pretty noggin?? My god the wig is so awful! Couldn't Showtime have made Nurse Jackie dye your hair blonde for shits and giggles??? C'mon! Edie Falco is no stranger to hair dye! Carmella LIVED for that shit! And poor Bella. She went from having the most gorgeous hair in school to having the most Marcia Brady-esque wig at school. Come on! She looks like Neil from "The Young Ones"!  OK - karma, Carol... I better say something nice: Jacksper's hair is fantastico! WAY better than Twilight and New Moon. Jenn D - we have to discuss this further!!

Will 'Breaking Dawn' Be Directed By Bill Condon?

Will 'Breaking Dawn' Be Directed By Bill Condon?

I am cracking up at m'self. I was getting "Dreamgirls" mixed up with "Showgirls" and going "HUH?????" when I first read this.

'Breaking Dawn' Screenwriter Promises PG-13 Rating

'Breaking Dawn' Screenwriter Promises PG-13 Rating

The Burning Bed (otherwise known as Edward and Bella making out in "Eclipse")

There are no words...