TRUE BLOOD SEASON 3 CASTING (We interrupt this Twilight blog...)

Any of y'all who are TRUE BLOOD fans, you're going to want to check out Bowling For Vampires. There is now a whole list of new hires for season 3 - complete with photo and who's who. ENJOY!

Really MTV? Really?

Dear MTV,

I don't watch awards your channel regularly and haven't for a long time. COMMA HOWEVER, I watched the MTV MOVIE AWARDS this year, because of a little something called THE CAST OF TWILIGHT... with Mr. ROBERT PATTINSON being the most worthy/talented/savory/tasty (pick one) person in that group. I watched the MTV Movie Awards from start to finish this year (as did my HUSBAND, which is stupefying) - and could not get enough of the guy in the blue jacket. And no, I'm not talking about Steve O.

Apparently you had record ratings for this show - all due to the attendance and subsequent award-winning of Mr. Pattinson, who you've named #6 on your "Man of the Year" list for 2009.

Srsly??? #6?!  For a guy who made you sick money by bringing a huge amount of non-watchers like me to your channel? Please revise your list. Clearly it's dead wrong.

Love,
Carol
PS - I fully admit I went back to not watching your channel the day after the aforementioned awards. You lost me years ago - somewhere between "The Real World" and "The Hills". And now you have that lovely show about a bunch of self-declared "Guidos" living at the Jersey shore - where I happen to reside. Let me fill these kiddies in on a little secret. They're not "Guidos"; they're "Guineas". There is a difference. Lord - the kid from Rhode Island makes me want to throw up in my mouth MORE than "a little". Dude your scene is nothing short of gross. I am Italian. Do NOT say your "lifestyle is Italian". You probably don't know the first thing about the history and culture of Italy - or anything else remotely Italian for that matter. All you know is "The Sopranos" - and gravy on Sunday afternoons. The only nice kid and non-guinea on the show seems to be Vinny. But I only watched the intro video (see below and try not to vomit on your shoes), so what do I know? (It may take a while to load. No worries; you'll need that time to go and get your bucket or spitune before the video begins.)

Jersey Shore - MTV Shows

Ridiculous "Twilight" Headlines

Notice how quiet it is around here these days? That's because we don't have a movie coming out for another 6 months... and I refuse to blog about something I don't care about just because a Twilight actor is involved.

Do you give a shite about where Ashley Green gets her coffee... or where a Wolf is buying his Christmas presents?

Neither do I.

So - we'll need to turn things inward a bit... and talk amongst ourselves. I'll give us a topic:

What are some really ridiculous headlines you've seen about Twilight actors lately? 

Discuss!

Rob Pattinson's Vogue Shoot for Remember Me

Yeesh. Not that this has squat to do with Twilight, but  here we go again. And I thought we'd have some relief from the feeding frenzy until June when Eclipse comes out. I forgot Remember Me comes out in March. Poor Emilie de Ravin. She's going to get mobbed just like Kristen.

Ya know - as much as I think Rob Pattinson's has some serious acting talent (see The Haunted Airman if you question that. Great performance) - I can sum up in two words why I really want to see Remember Me: Chris Cooper. I would see anything that man was in. Even if he was playing Barney in "Barney and Baby Bop; The Geriatric Years." You get my point. LOVE. CHRIS. COOPER.  *Thanks to eclipsemovie.org for the photo.

Interview with Rob Pattinson in Toda Teen

Thanks to NewMoonMovie.org for this find. Head on over to their site and read the whole thing. I have to make mention of a certain part of the interview though:

TT: You talked about your acting. How did you grow as an actor?
RP: One of the things I never under stood in Twilight was why I was still in school. When you are 108 years old, you would probably be doing any thing, except high school. That fact made me confused when I was acting. But once you finally pull that off… And even in the first scenes when he’s still in school it’s because he wanted to be near Bella. It’s an obvious reason to be there: he wants to be with her. But when Edward leaves and wanders through the world, it’s easier to me to get what he’s thinking.

I had a lot to say about this when I first read it... and I blogged about it. And then Tracey R. commented - and I reread my post - and realized I was hard on RPattz. So I deleted my commentary as well as Tracey's comment (only because it wouldn't make sense without my previous commentary.)

I'm sorry... because I kindof jumped down Rob's throat about not getting why Edward is in school... But he's not really disagreeing with his being in school, he's just saying he had a hard time playing a 108 year old senior in highschool. So I guess I understand that.

I think maybe I'm still a bit put off about certain parts of these movies that I feel sway a bit too far from the books. One point I made in my earlier post that I am sticking with is this: Edward was cool in the books. He exuded strength and calm. No matter what was going on inside his brain. And I don't feel like Rob does that in the films; quite the opposite. Edward looks uncomfortable a lot. And I disagree with that. Edward might have felt uncomfortable...  but he didn't look uncomfortable... or act uncomfortable. (Except for that conundrum of his whimpering on Bella during her pregnancy, but let's not get into that right now, mmmkayyyy?)

You know, yesterday I was talking to my friend Nancy S. whose friend's daughter read the books and absolutely refuses to see the films. I found that absolutely and unbelievably commendable for a teenager. It got me thinking about how I really feel like I've lost a bit of the true Twilight... because the movies are different from the books in one way or another. What I have to remember is that it is not always the actors' fault; they can only do so much to bring the book to life.

I'm starting to think I don't want to see the Outlander series on the big screen... But that's a post for My Outlander Purgatory...

No Piracy Charges for Samantha Tumpach

I am SO HAPPY to hear they've dropped the charges against Samantha Tumpach for bringing her video camera to the theatre and taping a miniscule portion of New Moon - along with her sister's birthday party. Is she going to be compensated for the two nights she spent in JAIL??

And KUDOS to Chris Weitz for his kind words about her. SOMEBODY had to stand up for this girl!! She wasn't trying to pirate the movie - and they should have clued in to that the second they looked at her FOOTAGE! Do these people have any idea how friggin EXCITED we all were to see New Moon for god's sake? I couldn't even eat any POPCORN! And I LOVE movie theatre popcorn! To say NO to it is either INSANITY - or the knowledge that I'm about to watch EDWARD CULLEN on the big screen.  And what else did I do to the big screen? Oh yeah that's right; I took a picture so I could upload it to Facebook and say "LOOK! I'M AT THE THEATRE, ABOUT TO SEE NEW MOON!!!" (I'd say "SUE ME"... but quite honestly, I'm TERRIFIED to give them any IDEAS!!!)

David Slade's Eclipse Tweets on Twitter

Thanks to Tracey R. for sending in the following Eclipse tweets that David Slade has been posting on Twitter today:

DAVID_A_SLADE
Still we have 200 days to go.
23 minutes ago from web

DAVID_A_SLADE
Jacob & Bella are matching with intensity, & it's all even with the action sequences. Right now we are in a great state of balance.
23 minutes ago from web

DAVID_A_SLADE
As we cut. Edward seems to be a really strong presence, the intensity of the love story & rivalry between Jacob is in the driving seat.
26 minutes ago from web

DAVID_A_SLADE
Been quite a week, we almost have our composer, all fingers crossed for some great news soon.
30 minutes ago from web

DAVID_A_SLADE
Wolf reviews today, looking better & better. The Eclipse story and they way we approached the film calls for a much more realistic approach.

Bryce Dallas Howard Interview

Check out this interview blurb on eclipsemovie.org. Wow. This woman is tremendous with the media. Her comments about Rachelle Lafevre are spot on (aka SHE FRIGGIN KICKED ASS IN NEW MOON) and very gracious, might I say. Go BDH.

WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE

One of THE funniest articles I've seen in a LONG time. It's a little X-rated - so be forewarned. (Thanks to John S. for sending it in!)

THE DEVIN'S ADVOCATE  

WHY BREAKING DAWN MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE  

By Devin Faraci

With New Moon likely to make yet another metric fuckload of money this weekend we need to find the bright side to the entire Twilight mania. There must be something good that comes from this awful Mormon fantasy that seems to have invaded our culture on every front. That something is the eventual movie version of Breaking Dawn.

Even though New Moon has made a bazillion dollars and even though the third Twilight book, Eclipse, is already filming, Summit has declined to announce the fourth and final Twilight book as a movie. There's a good reason for this: Breaking Dawn is completely fucking insane, and it is probably totally unfilmable. But if they do film it... man, we are in for a treat.

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he's super strong and she's just a human - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her - and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.

Let's go over that again: Edward fucks Bella into unconsciousness. This alone should have you running to Fandango to pre-order your tickets, but it only gets better.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up. Yes, an undead vampire apparently has enough viable sperm to impregnate a human woman while fucking her off the coast of Rio de Janero. Stephenie Meyer, you fabulous idiot!

The baby in Bella's belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella's ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Oh wait, I missed something. Edward is completely freaked out about the baby, fearing it will kill Bella. He tries to convince her to get an abortion (but seriously, how could she? Vampires are tough to kill even in this shitty series), and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants. I'm dizzy with how ridiculous this is, and we're just getting started.

Eventually the baby starts to get born and Bella is dying. The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it's in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron. 

In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his fucking teeth. It's like something out of XTro, for the love of God. It's so horrible it's brilliant, and this scene alone is why I remain firm in declaring that David Cronenberg must direct Breaking Dawn. This is surely his movie.

Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she's about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.

The book makes no bones about this; while Jacob doesn't want to fuck the baby right off the bat, he can't stand to be away from it and visits everyday. His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he'll love her forever. So one day he's going to stick his wolf dick in this girl that he see as a bloody newborn. Romance is not dead, it's just being abused by insane Mormon writers.

There's more in Breaking Dawn - the Volturi come back, for one thing - but these are the main amazing events that demand this book to be turned into a film. I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I've seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching - I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema. The entire film of Breaking Dawn would play like the weirdest exploitation film since Doris Wishman died - brutal sex, bizarre body horror, unbelievable pedophilia.

A werewolf falling in love with a baby. This is why Thomas Edison invented this shit in the first place. So we could see a werewolf fall in love with a baby.

Comment #349 (Posted by My Twilight Purgatory)

I am a self professed "Twihard" and that is some of the FUNNIEST shit I have ever read in my entire life. The only thing that has come close to this hilarity is one reviewer who said Jacob had "Christian Rock hair". THANK YOU for making my friggin day.

Twilight Cycles

I'm not sure a Twilight video has ever made me laugh this hard. Ever. Thanks to Tara V. for the HILARITY.

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

New Moon LOLcats Review

Dying. Holy CRAP. Just... dying. Thank you Jenn D. for sending this in. The rest of you must take yourselves over to Microsuede to see the most hilarious New Moon review - complete with LOLcats... LOLwolves... AND scenes from Peanuts. Did I mention I'm dying???

Chaske Spencer's - aka "THAT VOICE" - website statement

You will see from the statement on his website that Chaske Spencer is the epitome of class. It can't be easy to (be forced to) throw details about your past out there in front of millions of adoring Twilight fans. I only point it out because a) he seems to be a seriously nice guy and we've been drooling over "that voice" since Parsippany and b) I want everyone to read it so you know the rumors are a bunch of bullshizzle. Oh yeah and c) because the wolf pack KICKED ASS in New Moon - gives me newfound hope for an awesome Eclipse - and who is the ultimate in wolf pack goodness but Sam Uley???

PS - uh, thanks, Chaske for letting me totally gank this hot pic of you right the hell off your website. I am grateful. ;)

Robert Pattinson and Peter Facinelli at New Moon after party

Thanks to Jenn M - and to Robert Pattinson Life - for this adorable photo of RPattz and PFach at a New Moon after party. I don't know about you... but I'll take PFach! Is it me or does Jenny Garth get the "I WIN" award of the century?!? Survey says: YES!!

Woman arrested for taping 'New Moon.'

Woman arrested for taping 'New Moon.' What should be the punishment for talking or texting during it?

RPattz before and after!

LOL got this Tshirt design from Jenn D today. It makes me giggle profusely. (Aww c'mon. RPattz knows he's hot; he can handle a little ribbing.)

So I just saw New Moon again...

A few things I wanted to mention...

Michael Sheen is the new black. He is so hot I don't know what to do with myself. RPattz? Nah (well yeah, but work with me here). Just watching Aro holding everyone's hand made me find him incredibly sexy. Hell, his TEETH made me find him incredibly sexy. Damn. DAMN. I know those of you under 35 are questioning my sanity right now. But the rest of you cougars know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, do a little Michael Sheen googling. You won't be sorry.

Wish they showed the forest a little more when Bella was dreaming. Wish we could have seen her dreams.

Wish the scene where she wakes up from her Volturi nightmare - which wasn't a nightmare - was done more like the book. Bella woke up so funny in the book, thinking she was dead and that Charlie was going to kill her. In the movie, Bella just sat there like a dumbass, staring at Edward while he did all the talking.

Wish they had taken a little while to lead up to the breakup scene. As cool as the October/November/December scene was - and it was very cool -  I think I'd have rather seen Bella getting more and more antsy, sensing the impending doom, like in the book. So that when Edward asks her to take a walk, she is practically falling down already.

My favorite scene in the movie was the hunting/cliff diving scene. Not only did my favorite Native American actor of all time - Graham Greene - have a sad little death scene... but Rachelle Lafevre was KICK ASS in that scene (don't get me started because I may cry. I already miss her.)  And if all of that weren't enough, actually seeing Bella do something so incredibly reckless - just to be near Edward - was really powerful for me and made me cry - again. It hit close to home. Reminded me of something I went through as a kid. Only Bella's Edward came back. Enough said.

So... my second viewing was interesting. Natch, I caught more of the details. Like how friggin GOOD Jessica was. And how funny Eric was. And how beautifully Rob Pattinson recited Shakespeare. And how naturally pretty Kristen Stewart is (which is possibly why some of us got tired of the Joan Jett look after a while; "less is more" where make-up and KStew are concerned.) This time around, I noticed how awesome Charlie was... and how GOOD Kristen Stewart was in the Volturi scene. And the scene where she tells Charlie she saw the wolves. And the scene where she's hanging with Jacob while he's fixing the bikes - or driving in her truck (her "mad skills" comment made me pee.) I HAVE to give her props since I was down on her scenes with Robert. And frankly - tonight I realized something;  that's the problem. I don't care for Kristen Stewart in her scenes with Rob Pattinson. Every other scene - she's great. Scenes with RPattz, she's uncomfortable. Again - enough said.

And let me share two HILARIOUS lines I heard tonight - but not from any of the actors; from Shannon. OH. MY. GOSH. I laughed my ASS off right in the middle of the film.  Halfway through the movie she notices that KStew is an A-cup and leans over to me and says: "She needs a water bra." Dying. Then - during the Volturi scene, she says about Marcus: "He looks like he's going potty." When I tell you.. I almost had to leave the theatre I was laughing so hard.

OK can I type any more? I'm thinking no. So I'm gonna shut up now, y'all.

Wonder if I'll go for a third viewing...

Eclipse Poster

Michael Sheen on Craig Ferguson

Thanks to newmoonmovie.org and Jenn M for alerting me to this. I am clearly showing my age when I say that I think BOTH of these fellows are hot. We all know how Carol digs herself some Brits. And how I'm reading the Outlander series and a Scottish accent melts my butter. And let's face it; I'm no tween (unless I'm 'tween college and a senior discount at Shoprite.)

Yet another witty Jamie Campbell Bower tweet

I am sorry but how can you not love this guy? (And might I say that a bowl of Cocoa Puffs for dinner can sometimes make everything alright in my world.)

Jamiebower    Hungry. Dry Cereal City. Population, 1. All aboard. X

New Malware Scam Targets Twilight Fans

New Malware Scam Targets Twilight Fans

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Taylor Lautner to host Saturday Night Live?

Wow - according to Entertainment Weekly - via NewMoonMovie.org  - Taylor Lautner is going to host Saturday Night Live on December 12th! He's only 17! I hope it's true. I think he'd probably be pretty damned funny in that capacity. Guess Rob and Kristen didn't want to? Shocker. It's funny because I have been thinking about how funny a SNL skit about the two of them would be. Can't you see it? SNL actors pretending to be the two of them - sitting around all sulky - him strumming a guitar in the corner...the cat backing away from him and his 4 day old plaid shirt... and her being philosophical about...some complete nothing thing like... gum. "It's just really amazing to be in the presence of something so...so...(sucks in air)... I don't know... kindof existential... you know? It's really (sucks in more air)... really kindof strange and yet powerful at the same time... to be...(sucks in air yet again) something that soooo many %$#@ people....(sucks in air a-friggin-gain) really, you know... love."

OK sorry. I couldn't help it. I've been picking on RPattz and Kstew a bit lately. I'm just mad about New Moon being the RPattz/Kstew show when they don't seem to appreciate it (except for their chum - aka bullshit Tweets) and I'm bitter about the black Volvo MOM car... and I'm bitter about Kstew never smiling... and I'm bitter about the hype and the fact that I have done what I didn't want to do - and that's pay too much attention to the stars, when it should be about THE BOOKS. Just... the books.

OK I'll shut up now. Hey RPattz and KStew: Love ya! Mean it!

Possible Breaking Dawn Footage?

Embrace the funny. Or just look at PFach being incredibly hot. Either way - you win!

Video Games - E3 2010 - Comedy

My Twisite du Jour

Holy crap. Once in a while you stumble upon a Twisite (Thanks Jenn D) and think "Now THIS is a good Twilight site." You have GOT to check out the irreverent Twi-ramblings of the Latchkey Wife. She is so damn funny I almost hurt myself. Check out her list of things she's thankful for (she is BEYOND lurve for RPattz and makes no apologies.) And check out the interview she would give RPattz if given the choice. HIl-AR-ious, peeps. Srsly.

"You Belong With Me" (Jacob Black Remix!)

FUNNY y'all. The lyrics are below.  Thanks to Jenn D. for sending in this hilarious song she found on 4tnz!

LYRICS (by Matt Sullivan)
You're in the woods with your vampire Edward Cullen
He’s always whining and complaining, he's so sullen
He doesn’t get you’re human like I do

I'm at the gym, it's a typical Tuesday night
Lifting the kind of weights he doesn't like
And he'll never know your family like I do

But he sparkles, and I'm so hairy
He's so sexy and I'm so scary
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines

If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Hangin' out in Forks, while he's in Italy
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Howling at the moon thinkin' to myself
Hey, isn't Ed sleazy?

And you've got a beauty that could light up this whole town
Haven't seen it since he brought those biters around
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a sucker so wack?

He's so pale, I'm so tan
He's kinda bitchy and I'm all man
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines

If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
I’m down on all fours, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Wedded Bliss at LAX

Is it me or does this pretty much sum up their relationship? She has a puss on her face... and he follows her around. Wait - maybe they're in character. (OVER IT, party of 1?)

Robert Pattinson tweets in response to 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon' success

Robert Pattinson tweets in response to 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon' success

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Nutty Madam's at it again (the beach! the truck!)

Why did Edward get his ass kicked?

OK so my sister Jill just saw New Moon - and reminded me of something that bugged the crap out of me in the movie. WHY DID EDWARD GET HIS ASS KICKED?!  In the books, he's an excellent fighter. Is is because Felix (said "Feeelixxx" just like Michael Sheen aka Aro does) is so much older than him? I don't get it. That is a serious grey area for me since there was no major fight scene in the book. I just didn't like seeing Edward get flipped around all over the place. It was cool with the face crack and everything... but still. Edward Cullen does NOT get his ass kicked!

Billy and the humans

Just replied to a Billy Burke tweet and realized I showed him no love in my previous reviews! I told you it would take me a while to remember everything. Clearly I am a cougar because I have not a brain cell left in my damned head. At any rate - here's what I love about Billy Burke: he's a constant. He gives the same touching performance in New Moon that he did in Twilight; the concerned dad (Charlie). He's so understated; delivers his more humorous lines in his unique, dry way. Love him. Kudos.

And I also have yet to mention a BIG SURPRISE which was how much I ENJOYED the humans at school. Michael Welch - aka Mike Newton - was a pleasure this time around... unlike Twilight when you wanted to bash his character in the teeth (although "how you likin' the rain?" has probably made my top 20 list of quotable movie lines). Anna Kendrick - aka Jessica -  BROUGHT IT at the Port Angeles scene... very funny... she clearly has a good sense of comedic timing. And holy crap did you not LOSE IT at Justin Chon - aka Eric when he was CRYING at Romeo and Juliet? I. Love. Him.  Bobby Trendy, people....Bobby Trendy.

Another New Moon Review

A review came in from Tracey R. in a comment this morning and I feel compelled to post it as a blog entry:

OK, I've been thinking about this movie all day and have to say that I WISH I was happier with the Bella/Edward relationship onscreen. Now, I know that maybe it's just b/c it's New Moon, which is so NOT about their relationship, really--but honest to god, in every scene they have together, both before and after Edward leaves, Bella looks MISERABLE. Just plain miserable, as though (as I've said before) she smells something bad. It's really evident at the beginning at school, where she's with Edward in the parking lot looking all morose as usual, and then Jacob walks up and she VISIBLY brightens and is all "yo Jake wassup?" How in the heck is that supposed to make me, the audience member, feel at ALL as though Edward is the love of her life and the person who without whom she is souless?????? And worse yet, how is it supposed to get me invested in this relationship so that when Edward leaves, I believe that it's really as though someone has died to her??? I'll tell you what this movie needed--they needed to do the Romeo and Juliet movie scene the way it was written in the book, with B/E hanging out at home, sprawled out on the couch watching the movie, relaxed and just talking. (Oh, note to KStew? BELLA CRIES DURING THE MOVIE.) I need to SEE them having a normal couple moment--nothing earth-shattering, nothing life-threatening, just a normal moment with JUST THE TWO OF THEM, that's probably pretty close to moments they've had all during the summer ("the best summer of my life"), where they're just in love and enjoying each other's company and HAPPY. That gives the breakup scene so much more impact. POINT BEING: At the end of the day, I should have been in tears at that scene in the woods where Edward leaves. TEARS. And I wasn't. Either time. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, makes me sad. And makes me like the movie a little less the day after...

Tracey has seen the movie twice and was right last night when she said I was going easy on Kristen Stewart. I was. I don't know why. I suppose I don't want to sound like one of these asshole critics who has nothing good to say. Or maybe I'm afraid - by some freak of nature -  she'll stumble on my blog and get her feelings hurt - and she's only 19 - and I'd feel bad. I don't know. But I just said the following to Tracey:  "It's not that she's not smiling enough - that's not the problem. The problem is that she's not emoting any type of positive feeling for Edward Cullen."  Bottom line... the whole time I watched the movie, I felt like I was watching Kristen Stewart, not Bella Swan. And she should not shoulder the blame... Catherine Hardwicke and Chris Weitz have a hand in this, as well. It goes back to my comments about letting the actors have a little too much control. Bella Swan has a great sense of humor.. and she's blindly in love with Edward Cullen. Did you get that impression from this movie? Neither did I.

Kevin Smith New Moon Tweet

ThatKevinSmith NEW MOON rumored to have beaten DARK KNIGHT one day record of $67mil. Tween girls can get shit DONE, man. Send 'em to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Let m'tell ya how much I lurves me some Kevin Smith. He is so friggin hilarious. Run, don't walk, to your nearest Blockbuster and rent the following, in this order:

1) Clerks
2) Mall Rats
3) Chasing Amy
4) Dogma
5) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

And thanks to Tracey R. for the re-tweet!

Who said it?

Who said this? Care to take a guess? No cheating. Just guess...

"though we still don't entirely agree on who's got Edward's emotional state right—Rob contends Edward is more depressed than I think he is"

New Moon Review - Part deux

Friend and mytwilightpurgatory reader Kira asks:

are the Volturi just not that interesting? are the scenes with them as good as they seem in the trailer? they weren't mentioned in your review!

Let me APOLOGIZE for that, as they were TREMENDOUS. LORD how could I forget my favorite - Jamie Campbell Bower - aka Caius???? He truly has like.. two microscopic lines... but I have so much lurve for that little cutie, I don't know what to do with myself.  And he was good. His little "she knows too much...she's a liability" was hot. Although it reminded me of Yoda: "I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience." OK - moving on. Michael Sheen. MICHAEL SHEEN. Do they have any frickin idea how LUCKY they were to get MICHAEL FRICKIN SHEEN??? At one point, I turned to my sister and said "Best actor in the movie" but then I came to my senses and remembered GRAHAM GREENE was in the movie and had a little chuckle to myself that I could ever be so silly as to think anyone could ever be better than him - in anything he ever does. (TEAM HARRY CLEARWATER!!)  At any rate - Michael Sheen kicks some ASS as Aro. The only complaint I have is that they didn't stick to the book and give him white hair and papery skin. I have no idea why they didn't. Maybe he didn't want to - and that seems to be the way it works with these Twilight movies; the actors get to choose how they look as well as what they say. (Oooooh SNAP. Yeah, I said it.) Christopher Heyerdahl who plays Marcus was very good, too (although he has even less lines than Caius).. but I am biased where he is concerned. He played Alastair on Supernatural and was SICK good in that, too.

OK a few other Volturi points:  the room they were in was great - lots of marble. But we've all seen that in five million trailers, so moving on... The scene where they bring in the humans... Oh. My. God. Chris Weitz is brills because - well - I'm not going to tell you - but that scene will really choke you up. I was very disappointed that they didn't have the scene with Bella and Edward after the Volturi released them, where Bella is crying (it would have been nice to see her actually emote something) but I understood why they had to cut it and sortof front-load the emotional stuff when Bella first crashes into Edward. OH I thought the post-Italy conversation at Bella's house was WAY TOO rushed. That was a poignant scene and I barely even remember it, and that should not be.

also...is the ending totally different than in the book? i have to be honest...i don't even remember at this point how the book ended! lofl. i just remember that Bella gets Edward back....

Yes and no. They didn't change the gist of the story - but they changed where it takes place. And there is a cliff hanger that Chris Weitz doesn't want you to know about. So go see the movie and you'll find out for yourself. (And Summit will make even more money than they already have! Isn't that special for them?)

PS - THANK YOU to Chris Weitz for staying true to the book. I am getting chills while I type this. New Moon is my favorite of all the Twilight Saga books; it had a very personal impact on my life. If the movie had veered too far from the book, I'd have been upset. Thanks, Chris, for doing us proud.

Cullen House for Sale

Dude. This is beyond strange. You can buy the Cullen's house from New Moon.

New Moon Movie Review

OMG. Where do I begin? I love it. ABSO-FRIGGIN-LUTELY LOVED IT. There is so much to say about this film, I'll need to see it a few more times before I'll remember it all. First thing that comes to mind: THE EFFECTS. Absolutely BRILLS!!! My favorite scene (as of this second) was Victoria in the woods, flying all over the place while Charlie and Harry Clearwater (GOD OF ALL THINGS NATIVE AMERICAN) were hunting the wolves. It was truly a work of art. And speaking of a work of art: THE WOLVES! They were SO GOOD! The CGI was TREMENDOUS!!! For some reason, I thought Jacob - the red one - was a little less true-looking than the rest. Must have something to do with his coloring, vs a grey or black and white wolf? Either way - they were so good and - thank you JESUS - they were HUGE!!! HUGE!!!

Italy? Holy god - beautiful - although, unfortch, we saw WAY TOO MUCH of it on the internet (um, sorry) and the TV over the last few months.

I almost want to look at NOTHING from Eclipse - and I am THRILLED David Slade kept such a closed set because it really sucked that I had seen so much from New Moon before today. OK moving right along... don't want to get stuck in the negativity since I'm all about the lurve for New Moon right now...

The "breakup" scene - NOT Edward and Bella - but JACOB and Bella - was very good. Kristen was very good in that scene, while Taylor was very good in pretty much EVERY scene. It really made you feel for Bella - that here she was, finally coming out of her depression, and then BAM! She gets "dumped" again. Really, really good. As for "the breakup scene" with Edward and Bella - good - but not as gut-wrenching as I was expecting. Rob hit the mark. You were truly pained for Edward. Kristen could have shown a little more emotion with her eyes - but I suppose she was trying to emote "shock".

The wolf pack. Hmmmm. Not as much wolf pack as I was hoping to see.  Sam is great. VERY believable as the alpha. Paul doesn't have enough of a role. I was shocked to see how many lined Embry actually had. And I was thrilled that they left in the scene where Embry and Quill come strolling along while Jacob and Bella are in the garage with the bikes. Very sweet little scene that doesn't mean much but is just so real. They all brought it to this scene.

The cliff diving scene - omgomgomg - fangirling all over the place - BEAUTIFULLY done. SO heartbreaking. Although we all agreed it was a little anticlimactic when Bella came around. No spewing water out of her mouth or coughing... just a little drooling and staring... I dunno...I'd like to know how much of it is these actors' own influence vs how much they "do what they're told".

Teeny things that THRILLED ME:

Rosalie. Holy god. Dear Nikki - you are my new HERO of thespians. Love, Carol.  Nikki Reed KICKED ASS in this movie - and she only had a few lines. But WOW they were powerful. She has a little speech toward the end where she apologizes to Edward and Bella and votes "no" when asked if Bella should be turned... and says she wishes she had someone to vote "no" for her. She truly made me C-R-Y.  She delivered the lines beautifully and I actually felt sorry for Rosalie. Hell I wasn't even able to do that in the BOOKS! AND - if that weren't enough - Rosalie is GORGEOUS in New Moon. I thought I'd hate the wig; I didn't. I thought her coloring would be weird; it wasn't. She looks magical. Like she's SUPPOSED to look. Wow I cannot gush enough. GO TEAM NIKKI!!

Next on the list of small things that had a big impact (on me). GRAHAM GREENE! GRAHAM GREENE! GRAHAM GREENE! I'm sorry but you CANNOT have a movie with such a large Native American influence and NOT have Graham Greene! I love the man! And every time they showed his face I (annoyingly) said "I LOVE HIM!" right out loud.

What else? As I surmised, little to no Carlisle, which was a tough pill to swallow. Is it me or is he way more calming than Jasper? Poor Jackson Rathbone. TALK ABOUT UNDERUTILIZED. I suppose he'll have his due in Eclipse in June. But it's so funny how they make him stare into space and it's supposed to convey his calming nature. But all it does is make him look like Cindy Brady (Baton Rouge Cindy! Baton Rouge! You KNOW this one!) They literally had to make Bella say "Jasper stop doing that!" so you'd say to yourself "ooooh he's exerting his calming influence... THAT'S why he looks so freaky right now!) And lord - he's so gorgeous... WHY do they insist on making his hair look like Carol Brady: The Early Years??????

Ugh - so much more. So, SO much more. As usual, I am not happy with Edward Cullen being a sullen, sulking pathetic-looking dude all the time. EDWARD CULLEN WAS A FUNNY GUY! Am I the only one who remembers this??? For the love of god, somebody PLEASE tell me you agree!

I didn't know whether I was going to say it. But I'm going to say it.  I think they let the lead actors have way more input than the should in both Twilight and New Moon. They've changed the characters to the point where it interfered with my ability to truly enjoy the movie in spots. Let's review:

Bella is amusing. Let's let her laugh once in a while, shall we? When she's with EDWARD, that is. She doesn't have a problem looking happy with Jacob. So shouldn't she look friggin ECSTATIC with Edward???

Edward is endearing. Let's let him laugh once in a while, too. (Instead of looking like he's about to shit his pants all the time.)  I suppose he did more than Bella - so that was a nice change. We saw his teeth a little more in this movie.

Ummm... those are really the only two who I keep reading are giving a lot of input, changing lines, portraying their characters like this or like that.... instead of the way HERSELF - Stephenie Meyer - intended them to be.

Final review:  Robert Pattinson - pat on the back - solid performance. Kristen Stewart - hmmm...I suppose she merits a "solid performance" but I wish it included way more smiling and way less loud breathing. Damn girl. Bella's not socially inept for god's sake! Ease up!

And the total surprise of the movie? ASHLEY GREENE - ie Alice Cullen. HOLY MOTHR OF GOD ON HIGH!!! She. Was. AWESOME. Totally carried certain scenes - ie Alice visiting Bella... Alice arguing with Jacob... Alice and Bella in the Porshe. I CALLED THIS months ago. We were all worried about the way she sounded and I believe I said "These are trailers - let's wait for the movie to come out" and boy was I right. She knocked my socks off.

Oh and one more thing. Emmett is just adorable. Kellen Lutz is just a constant. You always know what to expect from the man - and he always delivers.

NEW MOON IS HERE!

TODAY'S THE DAY!!!!!!!

One more day!

OK so whose mom called them this morning at 9:21 to tell them Rob Pattinson was on Regis and Kelly? C'mon.... don't be shy... admit it.. you watched. Or DVR'd. I haven't called PattzR back yet (yes, that really is her name. Well Patsy. R. Same diff.) but when I do I will thank her for being so cool at her age. Although she's going to tell me I'm picking on Regis when I start abusing him... and it will be amusing as hell. LORD did anyone see Kristen yesterday? I caught it online and my god - the poor thing - she did GREAT, especially when you consider that Regis is a FREAK. And poor Kelly had to keep cutting in and saving him and asking Kristen real questions instead of having Regis cutting in about singing Joan Jett songs live... or cutting her hair... oh god it was crazy! And poor Kristen looks like she's thinking "Just let this be over. Just let this be over!" when they came back from commercial. It was great TV. Absolutely great TV.

2 more days!

Can you believe we're so close? What's odd is that I've had this overwhelming sense of calm over the last few weeks. Me, the freak who hosted a 100 Days 'til New Moon party. Me, the complete wacko who has a Twilight blog. But... I dunno... I think I'm just a wee bit sick of all the hype. There's actually a headline floating around right now about Kellan Lutz' lips. Um, srsly? Could someone please explain to me what in god's name this has to do with Edward Cullen's undying love for Bella Swan? Cuz I'm not seeing the correlation.

Twilight has become this over-the-top, huge-money-making business.... and I guess I don't do well with over-the-top, huge-money-making businesses. (Just ask the kiosk dude at Disney who tried to sell my kids those stupid plastic, rotating light toys which cost fifteen bucks each just because they had princesses and Lightning McQueen on them. Um, no thanks.)

So while I love the books and will make any excuse to talk about them... I am just a bit disillusioned with the press nightmare.

Rob Pattinson was actually yanked from a pre-scheduled Ryan Seacrest interview by his "people" at the premiere because Seacrest had the AUDACITY to ask his majesty if he was dating Kristen Stewart. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? C'mon. I thought we were talking about Edward Cullen?  Why is this guy's love life so important? And why in god's name don't they just answer the question? OH right because it's their personal life and it's private and they shouldn't have to. OH COME THE HELL ON. The only reason it's this big, burning question is because the've been strategically evading it for months in order to keep themselves in the news (most likely this plan has been commissioned by Summit; don't get me wrong.)  The mere QUESTION of these two dating has become bigger than the relationship, itself. It's all so stupid and media-driven. And something tells me Rob Pattinson is probably as annoyed as I am about the whole thing. (And thanks to Jenn M for the link.)

So yeah... I'm a little disillusioned this week, and for that, I apologize. But trust me... after I see the movie on Friday, I'm going to be a big ol' mess of positive Twilight energy to the point where you're going to want to smack me in the head.

So until then, just keep on sending in your Pocket Edward photos, please.

And PS - whilst I'm on the subject of Pocket Edward... WHERE THE HELL IS LAUREN'S BITE???

Edward and Bella

Here's what "Edward and Bella" look like in MY house. Yes. Her name is Bella. Can't you tell by her golden eyes?

Tom Cruise auditions for Twilight

This is one of THE FUNNIEST things I've seen in a ridiculously long time, Y'all. Go watch it!

More Adventures with Pocket Edward

If you have your very own Pocket Edward, make sure to photograph him in various spots around town... and send me some photos for the blog!

New Moon Premiere: Live from the red carpet!

Thanks to Jenn D. for pointing this out!

There was a big ol' live streaming video of the premiere here... but I took it down because it takes a sickeningly long time to load. And who has that kind of time? Certainly not me. I'm too busy reading Voyager (Outlander - Book 3) and taking pictures of Pocket Edward!

Allocine interview with Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner

I love when Taylor says: "It's tough to not like Rob". And Hello? Kristen? You look GORGEOUS, Girlfriend! Love the lighter makeup... and your natural haircolor is "so much more becoming" as my mom, PattzR would say. PS - TEAM LAURENT, BABY! I love me some Edi. I think they should KEEP HIM ALIVE! (He's fighting with cows!) PS - thanks so much to Jenn M. for sending me this!!

Look who's coming to dinner

Jenn D. from Erie, Pennsylvania sent in this tremendous photo of her very own "Pocket Edward" whom she took to dinner last night.  Send me your photos and I'll put them in Purgatory!!

New Moon Magazine from editors of US

So I just popped into the convenience store for a Coke (terrible habit, I know) and came out with this new New Moon magazine put out by Us Magazine. It's a sick lot of fun.

COMMA HOWEVER, where is my favorite New Mooner, Jamie Campbell Bower?! I don't see him anywhere, other than the gratuitus Caius shot.  Even amidst the STUDLY photos of Daniel Cudmore (hubba hubba) and Charlie Bewley (who is gorgeous, if you hadn't noticed). It is not RIGHT that JCB isn't getting more play, people. He's absolutely adorable. And why am I gushing about these guys? Because I'm sick to death of Rob, Kristen and Taylor getting all the press (as I'm sure they are too.) How often do we see someone like Julia Jones (Leah Clearwater) online or in magazines?  She's stunning! Where are the rest of the cast?!

Let's get one thing straight, people. To quote Francis McDormand in Fargo: "There's more to life... than a little money." For this post, I think I'll change that to: There's more to life than a little RPattz!!!

*Thanks to jamie-bower.com for the photo! You guys rock! 

No RPattz in King of Prussia

Many thanks go out to my TwiFriend, Kim (whom I've never met in person but she rocks!) for letting me know Rob P. is NOT at Hot Topic in King of Prussia this week. Apparently someone got the dates mixed up and used dates from last year by mistake. That's awesome because I was kindof bummed I wasn't even making an attempt to go. So right on - THANKS KIM! And PS - we will totally be going to see 100 Monkeys when they're in ________ (insert secret location here). I am way more game to head to a bar as opposed to a mall. LOL Keep me posted!

Eclipse has been canceled?

THIS is pretty funny.

New Moon Banners on Google

OK y'all - this is VERY cool. For the past few months I've been using a green forest on my Google homepage... cuz it looked like Twilight. OK SHUT UP. I know it's stupid. (I hear my 5 year old saying "pfff LAME" at me in the back of my head. But I digress.)  So I was just searching around to find something new and they have a bunch of Twilight and New Moon banners. Check THIS ONE out, specifically the gothic archway look. Look like someone ELSE'S banner that you know?!?  (Hint. LOOK UP!)

New Moon stars holding hands

GOTCHA! Who cares if Robsten were holding hands? WhatEV, Peeps. Doesn't matter what they're doing off camera... it's what's happening ON camera that counts. And we'll find out next week, won't we?!

Now for these two... The jury's still out. ;)

New Moon at Burger King

Oh yeah. We'll be heading to Burger King this week. Check out all the cool stuff you can get over at New Moon Movie.org.

New Moon Showtimes

So what time is everyone going to see New Moon? I am going with a bunch of friends to the 10AM show on November 20th (at the Monmouth Mall in Eatontown, NJ, just in case you're local and want to hang). There were other (very cool) alternatives... to see it on Thursday night... but I wasn't able to travel to NYC... and I can't see it at Midnight. I just won't be alert enough - and lord KNOWS I need to be alert when Edward Cullen is breaking my, I mean Bella's heart in the middle of the damned ferns!!!

Robert Pattinson in Vanity Fair

Dear Robert,
Lust is a sin. Please STOP making me commit it. JEEZ, man. Have you LOOKED at yourself, lately?! This is just WRONG. Even WITH the Gregory Hines shoes!

Love,
Carol
PS - Please give me props for avoiding the King of Prussia mall like the plague when you're there on Friday, mmmkay?

Stephenie Meyer on Oprah

Stephenie's goin' on OPRAH, y'all!!!!! THIS Friday - November 13th. The same day I am going to be sulking because I'm not at the mall I grew up loitering in - The King of Prussia Mall - to see RPattz at Hot Topic. Love me some Rob, but it's just not worth the hassle of a 90 minute drive to get in line at 6:00 AM to be one of the 500 people who gets in. And Lord knows what time he'll actually show up. I have a life, y'all. And I suspect you do, too. But that doesn't mean I won't be all kinds of cranky all day, knowing I could be seeing the closest thing we'll ever get to Edward Cullen, visually, that is. le sigh.

Robert Pattinson interview on E!

Don't worry, Rob. Taylor is Taylor and you are you. He doesn't have that accent. LORD he doesn't have that accent. He isn't 10 feet tall. He doesn't have your hands and he most certainly doesn't have your patented hair rake. You will have as much attention on November 20th as you do on November 19th. At least around here you will. :)

Twilight Cast at Hot Topic

Yeah Yeah - so there's a little bit of RPattz on this. Whatev. Oh. My. GOD. How long have I been saying how much I LOVE Jamie Campbell Bower?  Which is SO WRONG because he's like 14. No srsly. What? 20? 21? Let's just hope he's legal. Not even sure if he likes girls but who cares at this point. He's ADORABLE! Have I not said he's the most interesting person to follow on Twitter? Check him out! He's at the end of the video - about 3:45.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Mario Lopez vs Taylor Lautner = NO CONTEST

Got this from MTV: Mario bragged, "People always tell me Taylor Lautner could be my little brother.. Wonder if he hears the same thing.. Interviewing him later today."

Holy crap - Taylor Lautner really is minty. Slater's always been minty, but look how much hotter TLaut looks next to him. Dayum.

New Moon TV Trailer

I JUST SAW IT!!! ON TV!!! FINALLY!!! HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!

THE BEACH!!! THE TRUCK!!! THE FANGIRL!!!!!!

More Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner in Mexico

OK - hold on - still likin' KStew's look, y'all. She looks adorable - as does the hair (remember, people, it's a GROW OUT. You don't understand if you've never been clipped so badly by your stylist of 5 years that you looked like Leather Tuscadero. Not that that happened to me 4 years ago or anything. So just hush!) I'd rate this ensem a solid 8 & 1/2 if it weren't for the shoes. Clearly she's been dipping into Gregory Hines' closet as well. (Lord of mercy on him, as my mom, PattzR says.) And PS - lest I be double standarding.... what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Tay's lookin' pretty hot. Digging the henley...likin' the colors... easy on the jackets, tho... don't let too many collarless coats into your collection lest you start looking a little too Members Only. And PS - LORD where did you get that belt, boy?! Carson Kressley?! (Oh Carson,  you know you'd wear it, too. Fess it, Sister!)

Nutty Madam on the BBC!

The beach! The truck! It's Emma aka Nutty Madam! I just love her. She's crazy and so much fun to watch. No one can bring her down, man. She's ALL about the Twilurve...

Robert Pattinson. The hair. LORD the hair.

Dear Mrs. Pattinson,

I realize you don't know me. But if you could just do me one favor. Please do everything in your power as a mom to make sure your son's hair will not go back to looking like this now that he's not having it professionally done by a stylist on set every day. (Sorry for that run-on sentence. I'm American.)

With most sincere regards,
Carol (a chick who is obsessed with hair because I have crazy hair, myself. See my profile shot for further proof. And that night it was tame.)

Robert Pattinson in Tokyo

Remember what I said about being into the books and not really caring what goes on with the movie actors? Yeah well that all goes out the window when we're a mere 16 DAYS away from the movie!

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in Harper's Bazaar

Dear Twigirls around the world,

I WIN!

Love,
Kstew
PS - HA ha! 

*Muchos gracias to newmoonmovie.org for posting these BEAUTIFUL photos. (Go look. NOW.)

NEW VOLTURI Behind the scenes video

Oh. My. GOLLYJEEPERSBATMAN!!!!!!!!!


The Twilight Saga: New Moon Volturi Featurette

Trailer Park | MySpace Video

Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart in Mexico

Pretty cool vid. LOVE Kristen's ensem. I am SO PROUD OF HER! She's totally putting forth some major effort to present herself to the fans this week. And on such a crazy, global schedule, too! She has not only stepped up to the plate but has hit a few right out of the park over the past few days. GO TEAM KRISTEN!

Robert Pattinson Vanity Fair Video on E!

Damn. No wait....HOT damn.



Note: Jenn D says the following:

Hey, on the website for VF you can get a yearly subscription for just $12 AND they promise you'll get this edition in your mailbox! I used to get this magazine and its really good...ok, enough pimping, I'm going back to the Pretty.

Kstew (and her hair?!) in Brazil

Check out this E! article, ripping on Kstew's hair. What do y'all think? I don't think her hair looks bad at all! She's growing out the Joan cut. C'mon! I think she looks like a very-layered Courtney Cox. Am I wrong? At least it's not up in the nubbin-tail. She washed it and everything. I am being TOTALLY serious. I think Kstew looks fabu in this shot!

Bella's truck in real, live FORKS!

Check out this AWESOME website from "Sookie Redneck Stackhouse" who is actually from....wait for it...  FORKS, WASHINGTON!!! :::bows down:::

WE'RE NOT WORTHY!  I am soooo thrilled to welcome Miss Stackhouse to My Twilight Purgatory!! Oh believe me - there is plenty of True Blood commentary on this site - so make sure to read the comments and post your own!!   Also peeps - check out Miss Stackhouse's Twitter page!

RPattz in Vanity Fair

Great article about Robert Pattinson's upcoming Vanity Fair article.  RPattz cracks me up. I swear to god. I would so love to do some type of pub crawl with this guy. He seems like one of those people who is funny no matter where he is. Like you could be sitting in a bar with him and he'd make you laugh so hard you cried over a salt shaker. Or some dude's shoes. Is is just me?

Bella "birthday kiss" - screen captures

OK so we all know that Summit yanked the new birthday kiss video. Because, ya know, we'll all skip seeing the movie if we see them kiss beforehand on the net. (rolls eyes)

Found some cool screen captures of the kiss over at Socialite Life. I'm almost waiting for someone to import all these shots into a video (the power of suggestion, perhaps?!)

At any rate - here's my favorite. I call it - simply - "the groan". Go ahead... feast thine eyes...
PS - Sorry Rob. I know you're cringing at these shots.

My Volvo Purgatory

As I've waxed on about before... THIS kills me. KILLS ME. (Click the link - it's a Volvo site with a "Win Edward Cullen's Car" contest. BLECH.) It's like Edward's picking my kids up at school tomorrow. I don't even know what to do with myself. The silver, four door Sedan Volvo WAS Edward Cullen. I am so sad that they've made this major change. And don't kid yourself; altering Edward's car so drastically is a MAJOR change.

I have one question for Robert Pattinson. (I'm using the man's full name so you KNOW I mean business.) How do you feel about Volvo using your appearance to sell cars? Doesn't that make you feel a little icky? Because it should. I am ALL about capitalism, but this is ridiculous. Usually it takes years for a company to glom on to something pop-culturish to try to make a buck. But Volvo didn't even wait for the friggin MOVIE TO COME OUT!! And Stephenie Meyer: What say YOU?! Are you OK with this?! SERIOUSLY?!

New Moon video: Bella's Birthday aka "What the EF is THIS?!"

As my good friend Rocky Balboa from Philadelphia says: "I'm afraid, alright. For the first time in my life I'm afraid."

Is it me or is this CREEPY with a capital CREEP?! I don't even know where to start! They're like... STEPFORD CULLENS. This is the most uncomfortable scene on the planet! Friggin Edward doesn't say a word; he just looks at Emmett like he's so constipated he can't stand up straight. And what's that music playing in the background?! (Clearly I haven't gone near the soundtrack, as I don't want to ruin my auditory experience). And Alice is soooo bee-boppy. Not... flitting... like Tinkerbell...just... bee-boppy! Like a 4th grader! And Jasper. Oh...poor, deranged, crazy-assed Jasper. I will say this: Rosalie = GOOD. Emmett = even better. He's the only one in the whole damn scene who comes off as REAL. Oh and Bella, too - gotta give her props. It's like she's acting totally normal while dealing with a bunch of RITCHIE CUNNINGHAM VAMPIRES. I'm totally freaked out.

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